


Come Back To Me

by EverlarkAlways08



Series: Moments To Live In [2]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Hijacked Peeta, Peeta Gets Taken, Rebellion, Tribute!Katniss, Tribute!Peeta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-03-17 22:12:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18973597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverlarkAlways08/pseuds/EverlarkAlways08
Summary: It’s a year since Katniss’ Games, life seems stable but not exactly easy. Peetas’ life is downcasted once again after unfortunate change of the Quarter Quell.~Sequel to Moments To Live In~





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is real important!! A lot of things that’ll be referred to later.

I hate winter. I always have hated it. That is why I spend the afternoon baking in my kitchen, Katniss left in the morning to go hunting with her best friend, Gale Hawthorne and said she won’t return until later in the night seeing as she wants to make sure her mother and sister are okay. I’m not one to forbid her to do things without me, so, I showed her that she can do those things and I’ll trust her word. 

It’s coming up to a year since Katniss’ Hunger Games, in two months there will be another reaping with two tributes being reaped, two tributes who Katniss will mentor with my help seeing as Haymitch is no longer needed to mentor. The people in our District were a lot more open armed to Katniss than they were to me when I first returned, more so because she didn’t team up with someone from the Careers like I had, people in our District have also finally been able to accept me again, I’m able to find somewhat a piece of me again, especially since I’ve started baking again. 

I haven’t heard anything from Snow but I have from the crazed Capitol citizen known as Caesar Flickerman, wanting the new and juicy details of Katniss and I’s relationship, if there’s a proposal coming soon or a new Mellark addition, both of the questions of course caused Katniss to give up and leave the talking to me. Since the outing of our relationship, he’s requested to have a check up before the reaping, the check up that’s tomorrow night and I’m dreading having to look into the camera, talking about our relationship. 

Later that night once I’ve finished my shower, I almost let out an un-manly scream when I see a figure sitting on the edge of my bed, a figure I only know as Katniss, I immediately relax and scowl as she chuckles in amusement 

“You really need to stop doing that” I sigh, walking over to pull out my nightwear from a draw from my dresser 

”Not when I see you react like that. It’s quite entertaining” she grins as I take off my towel and put on my boxers 

“Not me... but I know that no matter what I say, you won’t listen” I tease, that causes her to scowl and cross her arms, I smirk at my victory and walk up to her, offering my shirt which she takes before stripping from her day clothing 

“I’m not that bad at not listening” she grumbles, it makes me smile at her, especially at how small she looks in my large shirt

”You’re not bad but you have a tendency of going against what anyone says and doing what _you_ say. That’s why I love you” I smile, kissing the tip of her nose. The other day I had said that I loved her and she pretty much freaked out then avoided me for a while before coming back to me, saying she wasn’t ready to say it back but her feelings about me were strong, I took that willingly over the answer I was really afraid of hearing her say and you could guess what we did after that...

”I’ve noticed” she replies getting under the thick blankets, I join her and pull her close, as I hold her I can’t help but feel something is bothering her 

“Did something happen today? Something that’s bothering you?” I ask, she just gives me a small smile while running her fingertips over the side of my face

”No, I just missed you. Thinking about the Tour” she frowns, I rub her back reassuringly, knowing that this Victory Tour will be hard for her, I can still remember mine and I remember absolutely envying it 

“It’s hard... I know. It’s just something you have to do. Regardless, I’m going to be right beside you throughout it all” I reply 

“I know. I wouldn’t be able to keep on going if I didn’t have you with me. You make me stronger” Katniss says, this makes me smile 

“You’re my everything, I’ll always protect you” I tell her, I don’t know how long it is until she sleeps but one thing is for sure... sleep does not come easy to me. Katniss and I can’t have a future together, not one that we deserve, right now, our lives aren’t ours because they belong to Snow which means our deaths do too. As long as Snow is still living, there is no future for Katniss and I. 

* * *

The Victory Tour, like always is dreadful... it started off fine, I go out with Katniss when she does her speeches both so she’s not nervous and so she knows that she has my support. It was Rues District so I told her I’d do all of the speaking for her. Apparently my speech about giving the two families half of our winnings for the rest of our lives and Katniss’ speech dedicated to Rue, caused an elderly man get shot, all because he done the three finger salute and whistle. 

Haymitch and I weren’t happy that we didn’t get told about Katniss’ run in with Snow. I hated seeing Katniss so distraught about it all, I wanted to be pissed but the visit about Snow saying he’s not convinced our love story is actually true, how we have to convince him. There’s only so much Katniss can handle and I know that she blames herself for Rues death and that mans death, no matter how much we try to deny it to her, she can never think otherwise. 

I sit on the couch that is actually surprising uncomfortable, thinking about what Katniss had just suggested. Katniss had just proposed we do a fake proposal once we reach the Capitol for the interview with Caesar. As much as I love Katniss and would want nothing but to marry her... it won’t be real, it’s something to feed the Capitol so that they’re tamed down, I can’t say that I’m entirely happy about it.

I hear the door open but I don’t look over my shoulder to know that it’s her. She takes a seat next to me and it’s quiet for a moment before I decide to finally speak

”I love you, Katniss. I know you know that... it’s just... look, I didn’t mean to seem like a dick just walking out like I did” I sigh

”I know. I just don’t understand why it makes you angry... I thought you’d be happy to marry me” she frowns  

“Don’t get me wrong. Nothing would make me happier than standing at the end of the alter, watching you walk towards me in a beautiful white dress. The thought makes me happy and yearning for a memory like that. A memory that is real. The proposal... it’ll never be real, not like it should be” I reply

“But wouldn’t marrying me either way make you happy?” She asks 

“It would, in a way. When I marry you, I want it to be just us and the people we’re familiar with. I want to propose properly. The way you deserve” I answer 

“Maybe... to the Capitol, we’re fiancés but between us we’re just dating. When the time comes, you’ll get a chance to propose like you want. In time” she says 

“I wish... I wish we could run away. Just run somewhere and never look back, start a new life where we don’t have to be afraid of what we say or do. Where we can be free and have a choice. A place with no Snow or Capitol, no place labelling poor or rich. A place worth living” I reply with a sad smile, interlocking our hands 

“I wish that too. More than anything. It seems right now to just be a dream” she whispers, we press our foreheads together and we join our lips in a kiss  

“I wish I could give you that. You deserve a life like that, after everything you’ve been through” I reply, I press a kiss to her cheek before she leans against my side, I can’t help but to realise that our problems with Snow are far from over, we’re playing by the rules of his game and the only way we’ll stop him is to stop going by his rules and make our own.

The fake proposal worked like we had originally thought, leaving Caesar and his audience jumping for more details. The next night, Katniss and I attend the celebratory party at Snows mansion, a party said to celebrate our union but I know the sly man more than his own Capitol citizens, this isn’t part of a kind gesture, it’s far from that. 

The entire party I have Katniss practically glued to my side, I trust no one at this party and if I’m being honest, Katniss may say something not so pleasant and that’ll leave us with another problem. I’m forced to try every baked good from Katniss’ stylists, Flavius and Octavia, asking me for my thoughts but I’ve eaten so many that I’m starting to feel real sick.

”Oh, no. I can’t eat another thing” I huff, my stomach filled to its capacity, that is until Flavius extends a light pink liquid in a skinny, short glass

”What’s this?” I ask 

“A drink of course!” Flavius exclaims, I raise my eyebrow at the two 

“It makes you sick. So you can go on eating!” Octavia clarifies, it annoys me that while they waste their food by making themselves sick to continue eating while there are starving Districts all around them... it’s making me almost vomit at the thought and luckily a slow tune of music plays on the instruments.

“I actually think it’s time for a dance. Katniss?” I say and we walk to the dance floor to start dancing to the sway of the music 

“The Districts are starved. They have nothing at times. Here... they eat what they can and spit it up before continuing to eat” I tense my jaw in annoyance 

“I know... it makes me feel sick and I’ve hardly eaten anything” Katniss scowls, subtly eyeing the over-the-top dressed Capitol citizens dancing around us. After a moment, Effie approaches the both of us, a plump looking man next to her 

“Katniss, Peeta. This is Plutarch Heavensbee, this year’s Gamemaker” Effie introduces, I shake his hand whereas Katniss stays next to me, eyeing the man suspiciously

”It’s a pleasure to meet you both. Do you mind?” Plutarch asks gesturing to Katniss, he’s dancing with her before I even have the chance to object. Effie escorts me off to the side and eventually walks off, I watch carefully as they talk, Katniss’ facial expression changes between angry and frustrated. They’re dancing for a minute or two before the music stops and lights are directed towards the balcony of Snows home, I quickly join Katniss’ side as we follow everyone for the Presidential Welcome 

“Do you think we convinced him enough?” I whisper for only her ears 

“There’s nothing else we can do otherwise” she whispers back, Snow steps out to his balcony with a smile that is far from genuine. His speech goes on but it’s the ending that makes my spine shiver in a not so good way 

“And I’d like to congratulate them. On the announcement of their... engagement” he raises his glass as fireworks get set off. Everyone turns to look at them, they’re beautiful to say the least but I can’t shake off the eerie feeling that the speech he gave was far from good and definitely not a compliment. 

* * *

“Can you tell me about your family? What were they like before they died?” Katniss asks in the darkness of the room we share in the train 

“Well, my brothers were different. Reuben was the oldest, he was always nice to me and looked out for me. He hardly ever hurt me, he was gentle and hated violence. For my Games, when my family were saying goodbye, he told me that if he was younger he would’ve volunteered in my place. My other brother Challah... he was never the biggest fan of me, we fought often and he always liked teasing me about how much better he was at wrestling than I was” I actually smile at the thought 

“It was true seeing as he beat me in every match. Even though he said he could’ve volunteered but didn’t want to, I miss him along with Ruben...” I sigh, trying to contain myself and I calm down when I feel Katniss rubbing my chest and I’m able to go on

“My dad... he was like my best friend. He taught me how I need to treat a woman. He taught me to put others needs before my own and I will be rewarded for it. I went through a period in my life after I came home from my Games where I doubted my dad’s teaching, I always questioned, I’ve gone through my entire life giving to everyone, putting peoples needs before mine, I was rewarded with my District hating me and my family dying... I now realise the extent of his words now” I say, Katniss looks at me with a curious expression 

“What do you mean by that?” She asks 

“I was rewarded with you. I get to be with you every possible way” I reply which causes her to smile, I let out a longing sigh 

“My mom... she always supported me. She fought for what was right but had a short fuse when it came to things like that. My brothers always teased that I was my mother’s favourite because she was always near me. In a way, I think she wasn’t prepared to let me go. When she was having me... I had to get cut out and I didn’t breathe for a while, she thought she lost me until I started breathing again. So when my name got picked out for the Games... when she came to say goodbye...” I stop and recall her facial expression, an expression I had never seen on her face up until that day

“She didn’t cry. It was like she shut down emotionally. She held me tight, not even my brothers or father could make her let go. I remember everything... I knew in that moment that if I died in the arena, my mom would be beyond herself” I finally finish

”I can’t imagine losing my entire family like you did. Losing my dad was hard enough as it was, it still hurts” Katniss admits 

“It definitely does. I never want to go through that feeling ever again” I reply, Katniss nods in agreement. We lay there for who knows how long, Katniss falls asleep but it takes me a while to finally close my eyes, memories start returning...

_Peeta paces back and forth as he waits for his family to come and see him. Since his name got picked out, right after Delly’s, he’s been in a bundle of nerves and really wants the comfort of his family. It’s not long till he hears the door click and his family pile in, his father pulls him into a hug, he hugs his dad back, taking in his warm embrace._

_“I’m so sorry, son. I would take your place in a heartbeat if I could” he frowns, I give him a nod in understanding before I turn to my brothers, Ruben doesn’t hesitate to pull him in for a hug too_

_“You can do this, little brother. You’re strong and you can wrestle. Fight your way through, kill if you have to. Just, come back to us” he says_

_“I’ll try my hardest” Peeta gives a solemn smile, he turns to his other brother Challah who pats his shoulder_

_“I would’ve taken your place... I just couldn’t” he frowns_

_“It’s okay. I understand” Peeta replies, lightly punching his brothers shoulder, Challah gives him a sad smile. The three men move to the side, Peeta looks to his mother who looks hardly like herself, it’s like the wheel is turning but no one is behind it, no one is controlling it_

_”Mom...” Peeta says, approaching his mother, she pulls him into a tight hug and he hugs her tighter back, he takes in her scent... he can smell her perfume and the scent of cinnamon_

_“I don’t want to lose my baby. I can’t lose you again” she whispers, Peeta doesn’t know what he can say to calm his mother so instead he just rubs her back_

_“It’ll all be okay. I love you, mom” Peeta tells her, kissing her cheek, she kisses his forehead before holding him tight_

_“We must go, Willow” Peetas father says, he tries prying his wife from their son but she holds so tight that he can’t weaken his grip, even his brothers try hard to pry her away but nothing works. It’s not till Peacekeepers walk in that his mother holds his head to her chest, the two men rip his mother from him, that’s when she snaps_

_“Get off me! You can’t do this! He’s my son! He’s my baby! I love yo—“ she’s cut off from her crying fit by the door being slammed shut, Peeta sits in a chair and pulls at his hair as he tries keeping his tears in. He immediately stands when the door opens again, Delly’s boyfriend Thom steps in, the door closing behind him_

_“I’m sorry this happened to you... you and Delly don’t deserve this” he says_

_“How is she?” Peeta asks_

_“Terrified. She’s not built for this kind of thing. I came here to ask something of you” Thom says_

_“What is it?” Peeta looks at his best friends boyfriend curiously_

_“To protect Delly. Protect her with your life, bring her back to me” he says_

_“I will. I’ll protect her. You have my word” Peeta replies, they both shake hands before Thom is also escorted out. He’s alone again... he’s going to be in the arena... and he’s going to die._

My eyes shoot open and I realise that I’m still on the train, I look next to me to see Katniss still sleeping. I smile a little to myself before kissing her forehead, I sit up and rub my face with a sigh, I put on my boxers and night pants before walking out to sit by the window, watching as we whizz by the dark silhouetted scenery, the moon is full and shining, the stars helping it light up the night sky. 

I lean my head against the glass window and close my eyes before letting out a sigh. I miss my family... I was lucky that I landed with a family who love each other. I always heard rumours of a parent in some families smacking their children around, sometimes I could tell who they were and it always made me feel empathy for them. I can’t imagine life if my mother or father would hit me if I done the smallest mistake, my mom had a temper when she was angry but she never lashed out in violence. 

“What do you think you’re doin, boy” I turn and see Haymitch go over to pour a small glass of whiskey 

“Just thinking. Can’t sleep” I reply 

“Thinking of your family again?” He asks, sitting in the chair across from me, I nod my head

”I can’t seem to get them out of my head, no matter what I do” I frown 

“You and me both” he scoffs, sipping on his drink 

“I thought drinking made you forget the memories?” I reply 

“That it doesn’t. Memories are memories, you can never get rid of the real memories, how they really make you feel. No... alcohol just numbs me” he grumbles 

“I wish I had never got my name picked. I wish I didn’t piss off Snow, my stupid, rebellious actions got them killed” I run my hand through my hair with frustration 

“They were good people, Haymitch. Why punish them just to teach me a lesson? I have no family left. No friends who want to be around me. Other than Katniss... I’m all alone” I angrily wipe away my tears and expect for Haymitch to laugh or tease me but he doesn’t 

“Your family didn’t deserve the end that they had suffered. I know I’m an old drunk and no-good to this world but... I see you as... a son figure. Everything I’ve ever done was because I wanted you to be protected” Haymitch says, his tone is soft and comforting... this is the first time he’s shown affection towards me 

“What about Katniss?” I ask 

“I didn’t think she’d be good for you... she grew on me. I care deeply for both of you like a father would with his child” he replies 

“Thank you, Haymitch. For keeping us alive...” I give him a thankful smile, he returns a small one 

“You’re the one who’s kept me alive this whole time, boy”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to show more in depth on Peetas relationship with his family.  
> I also wanted to show just how close Peeta and Haymitch are.


	2. Chapter 2

We finally get home and like always, our District seems to be the same since we left. People gathered at the station to welcome us all home, some congratulating us on our engagement. I watch as Katniss embraces her younger sister, it makes me happy to see her so close with her sister, the closeness of a sibling that I miss.

I carry Katniss’ and my bags as I follow them away from the station, Katniss walks ahead with her arm around her sister, both chatting away. Her mother walks next to me and I glance at Katniss’ mother to see her looking at her daughters with a soft smile, a smile of a proud mother. 

“I never got to thank you, Peeta” Mrs Everdeen says suddenly, I look at her confusingly 

“Thank me for what?” I ask 

“For giving Katniss the bread when you did. They hadn’t eaten in two weeks, we had no food. Seeing that bread, seeing Primrose and Katniss nibbling on it... it broke me. When I saw how much a loaf of bread was to them, I snapped out of my daze. I never got the chance to thank you for that” she answers and I give her a smile 

“No need to thank me, it was my pleasure. I’m just glad to know that I helped you and your daughters” I reply 

“Katniss is lucky she picked you up. You’re a good man, Peeta. You make her happy, just like her father did. That’s what she needs, happiness, constant happiness” she says 

“I’m just happy that I can deliver that to her. She means everything to me” I admit, looking at the back of her head, she senses me looking and looks over her shoulder then gives me a small smile which I return

”I can see that” Mrs Everdeen smiles. I give Katniss her bag when we reach the Victor’s Village before I give her a short but loving kiss then leaving to go to my own house to un-pack. I walk in and I frown, it’s so empty and un-inviting... I shut the door with a sigh and go upstairs to put my bag away. 

After un-packing I decide to go walking around the District, it’s a habit of mine to go around the hob or the small shops around and see if they need a hand with anything, mostly they say yes but probably mostly because I refuse any kind of payment. It makes them finally see me as the person I use to be, similar at least. It makes me feel good about myself when I know people are being helped, I know I would appreciate it if I were getting helped. 

As I approach the town, my eyes widen, fires are being set and people are being pushed by Peacekeepers. I look around at the chaos, I look around frantically and I find a little girl crying, she’s standing by herself, watching as what seems to be her belongings burn, I bend down to her level 

“Hey... it’s okay. Are you hurt?” I ask, she shakes her head and immediately wraps her skinny arms around my neck, I stand up and carry her, she tells me what her parents look like and sure enough, I find them looking around frantically until their relieved faces narrow at me holding their daughter 

“She’s a little upset. The Peacekeepers burnt her belongings and I suspect yours too” I tell the mother as I hand her the little girl 

“Thank you, Peeta. Thank you for helping our little girl” the mom says 

“It was no problem. Now, get away from here. Go somewhere safe” I tell both parents who scurry away. I help the injured get to the healers and help put out the fires.

I look up from where I help a woman to a healer and see people running towards the square, curiously, I follow where everyone is going and push my way through the crowd, my eyes widen seeing Gale at the whipping post, Katniss standing with a gash under her eye and Haymitch trying to talk to the Peacekeeper with the whip. He suddenly pulls out a gun and aims it at Katniss, my feet run over there before I could process anything 

“Hey... easy...” I say but Haymitch pushes me behind him as he continues to talk down the infuriated old man, it works eventually 

“Alright. Next time, it’s the firing squad. I don’t care who she is” he sneers 

“Excellent idea” Haymitch says 

“Clear the square! Anyone wandering out at dark! Will be shot on site!” The man gets close to Haymitch’s face. “Get him out of my sight” the man grumbles before walking off, I help un-clip his wrists and help the other gathered man to hoist him up on the wooden platform. 

I help them carry Gale throughout the District, Katniss follows closely, worryingly looking at her friend and the state that he’s in. We get to the Victors Village and our pace quickens towards Katniss’ house.

”It’s Gale!” I call over my shoulder, the other men and I transfer Gale onto the table as carefully as we can. I watch painfully as Katniss hovers around, looking at her best friend in fear, fear of losing him. 

I get told to get some snow by Prim and I listen to her instruction, grabbing a bowl and filling it with the cold white snow. I gather the snow in a bowl, all I can think is that if Gale dies then it’ll ruin Katniss, I don’t doubt her love for me and I know I can trust her but I know some part of her belongs to Gale. I may have officially met her before he did but he always knew her properly before I ever did, it makes me a little jealous but I can’t hate him for it, he helped her survive and made her stronger, I’ll be forever grateful for that. 

I finish gathering the snow and return to the house, Gale is now sleeping and I give Prim the snow. I look over at Katniss who sits in a chair, watching carefully as her mother and Prim work on Gales back. I put a hand on her shoulder to offer some sort of support, she places hers over mine and gives it a little squeeze 

“He’ll be okay. He’s strong” I tell her reassuringly

”I know...” she replies, kissing my hand that rests on her shoulder. I decide to leave her with him and go to my own house.

I lay awake that night, Katniss loves me, I know that but she loves Gale too and it’s a love I’ll never understand. I can’t help but think, maybe if we hadn’t gotten together, would she and Gale have? Would she had been happier with him? A thousand thoughts fill my mind at once, I know one thing... if Katniss changes her mind about her feelings about me... I’ll let her go, no matter how much it hurts. If it means she’d be happy then I’d do it in a heartbeat. 

I wake early morning, so, I decide to go check up on Gale but more Katniss than anything. As I walk in through the back door leading into the kitchen, I watch as Katniss lays asleep by Gale and I know instantly that she had been there the whole night. I slowly approach them and softly shake her awake, she stirs before waking up 

“Go get some proper rest. I’ll watch him for a while” I whisper, she lifts the material on his back and sighs 

“Okay. I’m just going to get him some more snow” she says, standing from the chair she was sitting in. I take her place and watch as she puts on her boots and coat before walking outside. I turn my attention back to a sleeping Gale and sigh. It hurts to see him like this, no one deserves the state of punishment that Gale received, at least mostly no one. I know exactly what’s going on, Snow is enraged and he’s trying to send us a message that we’re up to his last ounce of patience. 

I turn in the direction of footsteps and see Prim enter. She approaches Gale and checks him over before looking over at me 

“She loves you, Peeta. Don’t doubt it” Prim says, I give a sad smile 

“I know. They just share a deeper love” I reply, she looks at me like I’m crazy 

“You really don’t see it?” She asks 

“See what?” I reply, she just sighs 

“Where’s Katniss?” I’m confused at the sudden change of subject but tell her where her sister is. She grabs her coat and also goes outside. I replay Prims words, over and over again, what am I meant to see? Everything seems to be right in front of me, I don’t know what I am missing, what everyone else is seeing but I don’t.

I turn my attention back to Gale, I wonder if he sees it? Or does he see the coward I am who doesn’t deserve Katniss? Does he know about the asshole I became? I look back at my unworldly manner after my family perished. I frown thinking of how I use to be, I don’t ever want to be that man again, that man wasn’t me, he wasn’t the real me. The me that I know I can be and use to be, I feel apart of him with me again but the rest of him seems to have hidden and I don’t know how I can find him again. 

Katniss and Prim return, Katniss excuses herself to go get some rest and takes my hand as she passes. She takes me to her room and she sits on her bed, sighing. I sit next to her and wrap my arm around her in comfort

“This is Snows doing, isn’t it?” She asks

“Not the reason for the whipping but for the new head Peacekeeper and his Peacekeepers? Yes, I believe Snow was behind it” I reply

“No matter what we do, we can’t seem to please him. It’s like nothing we done was ever good enough for him” Katniss scowls

“Well, let’s stop. Stop trying to please him and show him that he may own our lives but he doesn’t own who we love. He doesn’t control our minds” I reply

“I want to live a life without him in it. A life where I’m not afraid in every waking moment of my life” she says

“Maybe... one day soon, it’ll happen” I reply, rubbing her back comfortingly 

“Things like that doesn’t happen in this world, Peeta. Nothing will ever stop Snow from keeping his empire stable” Katniss scowls 

“Hey, remember what we talked about? Hope. It’s stronger than he is. He’s scared of hope because it’s the one thing that can tear down his system. One thing that he can’t control” I reply 

“I hope you’re right. Hope is the only weapon that we have left to fight against Snow” Katniss sighs 

“I hope I am too” I reply, if hope doesn’t work against him, nothing ever will. 

* * *

I stand across from my television as Snow’s face shows up on screen, ready to announce the new Hunger Games, especially since it’s a Quarter Quell. I don’t know why but I feel nervous once he opens his mouth to speak, I never know what he’s going to say but when he does speak, it’s never about for the better. It never is with Snow.

My heart shatters. Katniss can’t be going back... why does Snow think that this is okay? Chucking Katniss, Haymitch or myself back into that arena for a second time. I do know one thing, though, I need to get to Haymitch before Katniss does. I open my door and see Katniss standing there, about to knock. I look at her with a raised eyebrow, I guess going to Haymitch can wait. 

I let Katniss inside, we quietly stand in my kitchen, drowning ourselves in our thoughts and with a bunch of what if’s. I look at her and see her scowl plastered on her lips.

”I’m going to make sure that either you or Haymitch get out of the arena. That should be the plan” Katniss finally says

”What? No! That’s crazy. You should be the one getting out. I’m sorry but I won’t allow it” I frown at her as I let her words soak in 

“It’s okay, Peeta... I was never meant to make it” she says weakly, I approach her and grab her cheeks so that she’s looking at me 

“Don’t say things like that. I wouldn’t live with myself if I lost you. I _can’t_ lose you” I reply, I connect our lips before she could say anything else. Our kiss slowly gets more intense and I slowly walk her upstairs to my room, softly laying her on my bed

”I just want us to forget, tonight. If for just a moment. Will you allow it?” I ask her, kissing her already swollen lips 

“I’ll allow it” she whispers as she takes off her shirt and we definitely forget in that moment. A moment that I’ll forever cherish because if I go into that arena... I won’t be coming out of their alive, I’ll die protecting the woman I love. 

I look next to me as Katniss sleeps peacefully. A rare beauty... a rare beauty who I’m going to stop at nothing to protect. 

I silently get dressed before taking off walking towards Haymitch’s house, I don’t bother knocking on Haymitch’s door, I just walk into his house and see him sitting in his armchair, drinking his liquor from his glass bottle, he scoffs as I sit across from him in the unoccupied chair.

“What do you want, boy” Haymitch grumbles

”I want you to promise me that Katniss gets out this year. Especially if I’m going in with her” I reply

“You’re asking a lot of me, Peeta” Haymitch sighs

”I know... but I also know how you feel about Katniss. I know she means a lot to you just as she means a lot to me. Please, Haymitch, promise me. When she comes and asks you to get me out... I know she’ll be safe if you promise me first” I reply, Haymitch frowns

“Are you thinking about how if you die if you go back, what other people will feel?” Haymitch says and I give him a sad smile 

“We both know that no one here needs me. Promise me, Haymitch. Please...” I beg 

“Fine. I’ll find a way to get her out” he replies 

“Thank you... really” I tell him gratefully, he takes a big drink 

“How is she?” He asks 

“I don’t think she’s handling it well. She doesn’t think she deserves to get out. She does. Which is why you need to work your magic to get Katniss out if I end up going into the arena” I reply 

“She’s not going to like this...” Haymitch says 

“It’s the way it has to be” I shrug 

“She’ll make it out. You have my word” I give him a small smile and a nod in understanding, I can finally relax a little, knowing Haymitch is on the same page as I am. 

The next day is the dreaded reaping day. Katniss, Haymitch and I are escorted to the square where the reaping will take place. Everyone in our District are gathered to witness the reaping that’ll take place, I have an un-nerving feeling about this reaping. I stand next to Haymitch and Katniss stands on the other side of the stage

”Welcome... welcome...” Effie begins, sounding grim and less like herself 

“As always... ladies first” Effie slowly walks over to the bowl, picking up the single slip of paper. She walks back to the microphone before opening, she clears her throat before reading out Katniss’ name 

“Katniss Everdeen...” Effie gives her a look filled with sorrow as Katniss approaches her side. Effie then walks over to the bowl on the other side of Haymitch, she picks up one of the two up before repeating her previous action

”Haymitch Abernathy” she lets out a breathily sigh, there’s no way I’m letting this happen... I need to be in there with her, to protect her...

”I volunteer as tribute” I call out but Haymitch grabs my arm 

“I can’t let you do this” he hisses 

“You can’t stop me” I reply

”Peeta.” 

“Let go” I scowl, I yank my arm out of his grasp before standing on the other side of Effie, keeping my gaze at everyone who are looking at Katniss and I grimly 

“There are the tributes... for the 75th annual Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeen... and Peeta Mellark” Effie announces with a frown, suddenly, everyone kisses and raises their three fingers, Katniss and I return the gesture, reminding them that we’re strong as a District. We immediately get escorted to the train, Katniss screams her goodbye to Prim, I look forward towards the motor that’ll transport us to the station because I know I don’t have anyone to say goodbye to, I don’t look back at my District because I know I’m not coming back. 

Katniss just sits in the armchair across from me, she doesn’t look as scared as she had before her first Games, a look I only know as envy and rage is filled on her facial features. Haymitch drinks his usual drink quietly before Effie enters and approaches the three of us 

“Because of the unfortunate events that have occurred. I’ve had a thought. Katniss has her pin, I have my hair. I’ll be getting you two boys something gold” she says 

“Why’s that?” Haymitch scoffs 

“We’re a team, aren’t we? They can’t just—“ Effie stops herself because even I can tell she’s about to be hysterical

”Thank you, Effie” Katniss says, taking her hand and it makes me smile to myself, Katniss has so much to live for and she just doesn’t see it because of me. I need something to help me convince her that it’s for the best that she survives and that I must die to achieve that, I won’t make the same mistake like I did before, I won’t let Katniss die.

When Haymitch and Effie go to bed, it’s just Katniss and I sitting in the same chairs as before. The question is dangling between the both of us, who’s going to make it out?, and I’m sure that we both have different answers to that dreaded question.

”You’re getting out. I’ll make sure of it. Don’t worry” I reassure her, her head snaps up after I do and she narrows her fiery look at me 

“How could you say that? You’re the one that’s getting out. Who _will_ get out” she scowls, I let out a long sigh

”Please, just... let me get you out of that place. It’s inevitable, I’ll either die protecting you or die when we’re the last two standing” I reply 

“What makes you think so much that I’m getting out?” She frowns 

“Call it boyfriend intuition, I just know you will” I give her a small smile and take her hand, pulling her into my lap 

“I don’t want you to die” she whispers

”And I won’t let you die. I protect the people I love” I whisper back, kissing the side of her head before pulling her body tightly to my own, I take advantage of this embrace because the clock is ticking until I meet my unavoidable death.

* * *

”What is it you wanted to talk about?” Effie says as I sit in the seperate room on the train, away from the ears of Haymitch and Katniss

“I know what I want for my token” I reply, she sits next to me, gesturing me to continue

“I want a gold medallion with the shape of Katniss’ mockingjay pin in the centre. I want it to have a secret locket. Get pictures of Gale Hawthorne, her mother and little sister in it” I tell her, she looks confused for a moment 

“Why not a picture of Katniss and your family?” She asks 

“Because... I’m using my token to convince her that she needs to get out. She needs to survive. Effie please, don’t go against me on this” I beg, she looks at me with a pained expression

“I’ve known you since you were a boy. I’m not prepared to see you die in that arena... but, I’ll get what you wished for” she says

“Thank you... please, keep this between the both of us. I don’t want Katniss finding out” I reply

“No need to worry, Peeta. I will get it done” she reassured me and I give her a small smile. We re-join Katniss and Haymitch who are quietly eating their breakfast, I sit back next to Katniss and I wrap my arm around her shoulder 

“What’d you and Effie talk about?” She asks

”Just of what I want my token to be. You’ll find out, don’t worry” I smile while kissing her cheek and then eat my breakfast, I hate having to not tell her what I have planned but I can’t let her try and stop me because I know that is exactly what she will try and do. 

Stepping out of the train and on the platform at the station in the Capitol, I take Katniss’ hand and look to her, we both share a reassuring look as we walk slightly behind Haymitch and Effie. We all get to the inside of the tribute centre, something I’ve grown to hate with the passion, a place where it brings more so bad memories than good. 

“Forget everything you thought you knew about the Games. Those Games were child’s play. This year it’s a Quarter Quell. Meaning a new training method, new tactics and not to mention, going in with the upmost skilled killers. People who have been around a lot longer than the both of you have” Haymitch says, standing in front of us 

“What exactly are we suppose to do? You’re making it sound like we don’t stand a chance” I frown 

“You both do. This Games is more about skill than surviving. You both have skill that help you get towards getting out of the arena” Haymitch replies as he turns on the screen, I take Katniss’ hand before he begins talking and showing us what we’re really up against this year, if I’m being honest... I’m not feeling entirely confident.


	3. Chapter 3

I get on my outfit, my prep team adjusting while Effie lingers around. Commenting on their work. It takes them quite a while before I am finally able to meet up with Katniss. I look suspiciously as Finnick talks to Katniss, I should be intimidated but I can’t help but feel that there’s a lot more behind his cocky smile and playboy persona. We both address each other as we pass, I approach Katniss with a raised eyebrow 

“What’d he want?” I ask

”To know all my secrets” she replies with a scoff and I smile at her 

“Well, he’s gotta get in line” I joke, she rolls her eyes but kisses my cheek anyways. Cinna approaches us, Katniss’ prep team not too far behind him 

“Costumes are same as last year. This year, no smiles. You want them to know that you’re not happy about this choice” Cinna explains, handing me a button 

“Press that when you feel is right. Don’t be alarmed by the fire, that’s what your outfits are built for” he adds and I nod, I help Katniss on the chariot before joining her 

“Give them a show” Cinna grins before the horses start pulling away, I quickly interlock Katniss’ hand with mine and give it a reassuring squeeze. A little further down I decide to press the button, our outfits engulfing in flames. I make sure to look at Snow as we ride past, his gaze is conniving and cold. I make sure my look in return tells him that I am not scared, I’m pissed and I’ll die before I let him do anything to Katniss. 

This years tributes are definitely interesting... take Johanna Mason for example. Stripping in an elevator in front of a bunch of strangers? Apparently that’s her thing. I would’ve enjoyed it if I were the person I was before I was with Katniss, I would’ve taken her in the elevator but that’s not who I am anymore. Katniss, I could tell, was watching me like a hawk and I made sure that my eyes stayed on Johanna’s face.

”You want to look anywhere else, Lover-boy?” Johanna teases

”He doesn’t. It’s a little in-appropriate if you ask me” Katniss replies, crossing her arms 

“Lucky you, I wasn’t asking you. Who says we can’t share your arm candy?” Johanna smirks, clearly trying to get a reaction and it’s damn well working 

“ _I_ say we can’t. Get your own boyfriend” Katniss growls, gripping my arm and I chuckle while turning to Katniss, I bring her lips to mine and kiss her passionately until Johanna leaves 

“Don’t worry. It’s always you, no one but you” I tell her 

“Not even if they’re prettier than me?” She asks 

“Prettier? I wouldn’t use that term to describe you. I’d say... beautiful and radiant” I grin and she blushes 

“As much as I care about you both. Leave this sappy shit for when we get to the penthouse” Haymitch grumbles, instead I pull Katniss to my side, letting her know that my words that I had told her were true.

We eventually get to the penthouse and I’m immediately getting pulled away by Katniss, Haymitch just rolls his eyes and grumbles ‘damn kids these days’. As soon as we get in the room Katniss and I share, her lips join mine and immediately she starts taking off the layers of my suit, I grin through our kissing which causes her to pull away 

“How is this amusing exactly?” She scowls 

“Just you. Being jealous, it’s the hottest thing I’ve seen” I grin, I pull her against me before she could hit me, I keep her tightly pressed against the bulge in my pants

”Feel that? That only happens with you” I practically growl in her ear, I place my hands under her ass and hoist her up and her legs automatically wrap around my waist 

“I’m going to worship your body to prove it” I tell her laying her down on the bed but before I could reach for a condom she stops me 

“Cinna gave me a shot. It lasts for two months. We don’t need them” I smile, happy to know that this is actually happening. I get rid of my pants and boxers in a flash, I’m happy to see Katniss completely naked under the sheets of the bed

”I decided that going naked under the dress was... more comfortable” she gives me the hottest look, a look that only I see and I feel pretty damn lucky. I join her under the covers and start kissing her, my hands immediately go to her breasts, palming both of them, kneading them like I would with dough 

“You’re so beautiful. So beautiful” I mumble, directing my kissing to her neck 

“Every. Single. Part” I say in between the kissing I’m making my way down her neck, I get to my favourite place and I cover her nipple with my mouth, I tug at her nipple which like always has her purring for more. I slowly slip my hand between her legs and grin at the wetness that my fingers come in contact with. I hook her legs around my waist before entering her for the first time without a barrier 

“Fuck...” I groan, her warm centre radiates from my groin all throughout my body

”Ooh...” Katniss moans, her eyes rolling to the back of her head, I start my rough thrusting. I feel myself coming to my release but I can’t finish now, instead I flip us so that I’m sitting against the headboard, she pulls my head to her breasts as she begins to rock her hips 

“You’ll always be mine... I’ll always be yours” she sighs 

“I know. No one can hit you right...” I angle my hips up causing her to moan out while gripping my shoulders. “There like I can” I mumble over her breasts 

“Definitely...” she agrees. She finishes not too long after our positions changed, like always I wasn’t far behind after a few thrusts. We lay on the bed in silence and wait until our breath gets under control, I grin at the position of us right now, Katniss laying on top of me while tracing on my chest and I rub up and down her back 

“I’m going to miss this...” Katniss sighs 

“I will too, don’t worry. At least you’ll get to do this with someone else. Just sucks that it won’t be with me” I reply, she looks up at me confused 

“What do you mean?” She asks 

“Well, when you get out, I want you to move on and—“ like expected, she interrupts me 

“Wait. Move on? When _I_ get out? Seriously...” she scowls sitting up, straddling me, if only this were a sexual matter than I’d be as hard as a rock right now 

“Katniss... you have to get out. You _need_ to be the one to get out” I reply but she climbs off of my lap and instead puts my shirt over her naked body, I sit up and let out a long sigh 

“So, what? You expect me to just let you die just so I can get out? You’re crazy if you think that I’ll actually agree to that” she scowls, crossing her arms over her chest

”I know you won’t do it willingly. I also know that when it comes down to it, you won’t kill me and so I’ll kill myself. You’ll be the one to walk out” I reply but she just scoffs

“You really think I’m going to just let you do that?” She says, I’m not, which is why making allies is better this time around. I stand and put my boxers on, I approach Katniss who looks wounded but angry as well 

“I... I can’t lose you. I can’t survive without you” she frowns, looking down at our joint hands, I press our foreheads together so she can look at me, tears threatening to spill from her eyes

”Neither can I. It’d make me happy knowing you got out of that arena, alive and safe” I reply, I place a soft kiss on her lips, savouring the feel and taste while I still can. 

* * *

“Remember what Haymitch said. Make allies” I whisper to Katniss as we enter the training centre, she nods. I kiss her forehead before walking off to find who best to form an alliance with. Definitely not Brutus, that guy has betrayal written all over him. I do observe Finnick Odair wielding his spear like it’s the weight of a feather, he realises I’m watching him and he walks over to me 

“Peeta Mellark. I guess this is the part where we discuss our alliance?” He grins

”Finnick Odair. I guess so. Is wielding a pointy stick all you can do?” I ask which causes him to grin even wider 

“I like you already. I must note, though, it’s a lot harder for the average human. I, of course, am one of a kind. As are you” he replies 

“What makes you so sure that I’m one of a kind?” I say, raising my eyebrow but all he does is grin at me

"Just a feeling I guess" he says before walking away to continue wielding his spear, I scan the room for Katniss and see her sitting with Wiress and Beetee, I can't help but want to tell her that we need allies who will get us through the games, them two... I'm not so sure. A little while later I notice all the tributes walking in the same direction and so I follow them, I suddenly find out what is so amazing that they have to stop, it's Katniss using her bow and arrows, showing just how deadly she is with the weapon, I cross my arms proudly because I get to call her mine, I now notice almost all of them looking directly at me, it's quite intimidating.

Dinner is silent. Only the sound of knives and forks hitting the plates. I feel like an asshole. I know Katniss means well when she told us who she wanted as allies but I can't see them protecting her, I was thinking more along the lines of Finnick and Johanna. I was able to talk to her at training and she's not too bad to talk to, she's just as pissed at Snow as we are but Katniss being as headstrong and stubborn as she is, her judgement still stands, she wants Wiress, Beetee and Mags as her allies.

I look up at Katniss who is just playing with her food with a scowl on her face, I wish I could make her smile again because seeing her smile is always my favourite look on her face, that's when I get the idea. I stand from the table and walk over to Katniss, I offer my hand making sure she knows I want it to be just us. Thankfully she takes my hand so I take her out of the penthouse and to the elevator, I press the button to the rooftop but it is still complete silence.

The elevator doors open and we step out. I take her hand before walking over to the railing, hugging her from behind as we look at the scenery, if the world wasn't like it is right now then I'd say that the Capitol is actually quite beautiful.

"I'm sorry, for earlier. I just want allies who I know can protect you. People like Finnick and Johanna" I say

"I know you do but the people I want have things much better than weapons, they have intelligence and skill. Both is a good chance at getting out" she replies 

"Trust that I understand. Look, if... you want them as allies then I do too. I'd rather support you than make you upset. I love you, Katniss. I hope you know that" I tell her, placing a soft kiss on her neck 

"I know you do..." she turns in my arms and pushes some of my hair from my face, a small smile on her lips. "You're what's good in this world, Peeta... a rarity" she adds, we share a sweet kiss, one that is enough to show love but not enough to pursue anything more

"This world doesn't deserve you, Katniss. You deserve to be in a world where it is safe and you don't have to constantly be afraid for your families lives. Where we can have a normal life together" I frown

"Hey... believe it or not, when you're with me I'm happy. If the world wasn't like this... I may actually have allowed you to marry me, start a family. I just... all of it terrifies me while Snow is still alive. I wouldn't want to bring a new life into a world where people like Snow can take them away from me so easily" she admits 

"I think that's why I can't bring myself to tell you in reply whenever you tell me that you love me. I know that when I say those words, there's no going back... that I'll lose you once I do" her tears make me pull her into a hug 

"Katniss... I don't doubt that you love me. Everyone has their time to say it and you'll know the right time when the time comes. No one will be able to take my love for you away" I say, kissing her forehead. 

The next few days Katniss and I try to train together if we can and stay clear of the people who we don't trust. People we don't trust including Cashmere and Gloss from District 1 and Brutus and Enobaria. I continue to observe the other tributes, I try to analyse their skills and if they're good enough to survive in the Games.

Over the days I have grown close to some of the tributes, Chaff mostly. He has quite the stories to tell and not bad skill wise. As I practice a hand on hand combat I hear a commotion, I look to see Chaff collapse, I immediately run over and kneel by his side, he is groaning but his eyes are open 

"What's wrong Chaff?" I ask worriedly, he points to his chest and I look to Seeder 

"He has problems with his heart every now and again" she says, I nod and I lift him up, leaning him against my body. I take him over to a seat and Seeder comes over with some water, I give it to him, telling him to take small sips at a time 

"That's it. Small sips at a time" I repeat

"You're a good man. The only pure man going into that arena" he says, I give him a small smile 

"I don't think I'm one of the good guys, I use to think I was, until I went into the arena for the first time. I don't think I can be one of the good guys ever again if I'm being completely honest" I reply 

"Don't kid yourself. A lot of us don't deserve a second chance at life but you and your fiance deserve a second chance. A chance to live life like it is meant to be lived" he tells me

"But even if I did deserve it. Snow is still president and the Games are still enforced" I say 

"There's always a flaw in the system, my boy" he replies, patting my shoulder before standing and slowly walking over to Seeder, I sigh as I try to understand what he meant by that... a flaw in the system? What does that mean? I look over to Katniss who gives me a smile, I give her one in return and rise to my feet, as I do Finnick Odair approaches me, his usual grin on his face 

"I must say, that was quite the 'good guy' act you had there" he says

"It wasn't an act. Chaff is my friend. I help my friends. I didn't see you helping him" I reply and he chuckles 

"I didn't help because kindness is a weakness. It's something these murders can use against you, you won't survive showing kindness" as he says this everyone I have ever cared for, my dads words play through my head 'being kind is much better than being cold'

"Well, it seems we both have different views on the meaning" I reply and walk away from him, I'm starting to wonder what it is I saw in him that made me think that he would be a good ally to have, I'm now starting to understand Katniss' choice in allies. 

* * *

After our scores got out, we weren't surprised when our scores weren't exactly desired. Effie, of course, now talks our ears off when Katniss and I told her what happened that made us get such low scores. I have enough and stand up, taking a calming breath before looking to Effie 

"I know you feel outraged. I know that. You can't blame us for doing what we did. I wanted them to know that Rue's death is their fault, that the Games take away everything that's innocent. You can't blame us for being angry. Just... try and put yourself in our shoes" I say, cutting Effie off completely, I look to Katniss who's looking at her folded hands with a frown 

"Understand that only one of us is making it out of the arena. We're not the only ones who are angry" I add, Effie lets out a sigh 

"It's not because I don't care about you both... I just wish it could be different" she frowns, I pull her in for a tight hug 

"Thank you, Effie. For understanding" I reply, she nods before walking off, I take my seat next to Katniss again and take her hand 

"What are we suppose to do for our interview. I don't think I can do it... I can't face any of them" Katniss frowns 

"Haymitch overheard and most of the tributes are furious that they're going back. At their interviews they're going to try and convince the Capitol to cancel the Games" I tell her, she looks at me with a raised eyebrow 

"Would it even work?" She asks, I sigh 

"Haymitch says that there's a slim chance that it'll happen but that it is worth a shot. He advises us to do the same. Try convincing the Capitol that this isn't what should happen" I reply 

"What are you going to say? Nothing we say will ever stop the Games" Katniss says 

"I don't know what I'm going to say just yet but I know I'm going to follow in everyone else's lead and try to put a stop to these Games" I firmly tell her, she nods, I pull her in for a comforting hug so she knows that I'm here and I will defend her with my life

"Peeta... I... I want to do the toasting ceremony with you. If we don't get out... we're both together in the way you want" Katniss says

"Get married? But... are you sure?" I ask 

"I've never been so sure of anything" she replies. While Katniss gets the fire going, I find some bread, raisin and nut bread, the same I gave her all that time ago.

I walk back into the room and Katniss is poking at the fire with the fire iron. I sit next to her and put down the plate with the two slices of the bread, I take the fire iron from her and place both slices on the fire iron and put it over the orange flames 

"It actually feels like we're actually in a normal place" Katniss sighs, laying her head on my shoulder and I smile 

"Just another reason for us to want to freeze this moment and live in it forever" I reply with a smile, I pull the toast from the fire and we wait for it to cool down 

"This is the kind of wedding I'd prefer. Just you and me. In each other's company" Katniss admits 

"I wish I could give you that. I wish everything was different and we could live on happily" I tell her, picking up the warm pieces of toast, handing her one 

"So do I... at least we have this moment" Katniss says, we both take a bite of each others bread and then eat the rest, completing the ceremony. It may not be an official marriage or even a legal marriage but to us we're married, in our hearts and minds we're a married couple, like a married couple, we spend our night like it were our wedding night. 

I nervously sit in my 'luxurious' dressing room, waiting for Chaff to finish his interview with Caesar. I'm anxious to see how Katniss will handle her interview, I haven't been able to see her since this morning. I know the idea of convincing the Capitol to cancel the Games is a lot for her but I don't doubt that she'll find something to say. My breath catches when I see her, she looks beautiful in the white dress, I watch as Caesar interviews her.

She does amazing and even I almost believe that she likes the idiot she's talking to, including the audience but she does really well at convincing. Nothing could prepare myself when she spun and her dress changed to a midnight blue, wings attached at the back of her... it's a mockingjay dress... and she looks beautifully radiant in it.  

I take a deep breath as I wait for Caesar to finish introducing me. I play through my head the possible questions that Caesar will ask me and I try think of convincing answers to the questions. If there's even the slightest chance that what I plan to announce will put a stop to the Games then I have to try, at least if it excludes Katniss, it'd make it easier for me to try to win knowing that Katniss will be there right when I get out.

I walk out onto the stage with a bright smile and wave at the audience who are roaring with cheers and applause, Caesar quiets them down before starting the interview.

"Peeta! A crowd favourite I see" Caesar laughs, I have to restrain myself from rolling my eyes and so instead I chuckle 

"It is an honour to be seen as a favourite. I couldn't be anymore indebted to everyone in the Capitol" I smile, a round of 'awww's' sound through the stadium 

"That is so sweet... now, I want to discuss a matter with you. The wedding... never to be" Caesar frowns 

"Well actually, we got married. In secret" I reply, an echo of gasps are heard throughout the stadium, I get asked to explain

”We wanted our love to be eternal. I wouldn’t have any regrets if... if it weren’t...” I pretend to stop myself from being emotional, making it look a little more extra 

“If it weren’t for what Peeta?” Caesar asks 

“If it weren’t for the baby” I announce, this causes the audience to echo in gasps and the repeat of my words, I find Haymitch’s gaze and he grins at me then raises his flask, I secretly grin as the audience cause a commotion. 

Caesar tells me to join the others, when I get to Katniss I hug her before taking her hand. Gradually we all hold hands and raise them to the roof which causes the audience to erupt in upset roars until the lights dim and surround us by darkness. 

Katniss and I wait in our room for Haymitch and Effie to come tell us if the Games are still on or not. It’s not long until they walk in, Katniss and I both stand 

“The baby bomb was a stroke of genius but the Games are still on” Haymitch sighs, my heart sinks, Effie gives Haymitch and I black velvet boxes

”What’s this?” Haymitch says, furrowing his eyebrows

”It’s your tokens. Hair for me, pin for Katniss. Haymitch a bracelet and Peeta... that medallion we talked about” she says

”Thank you, Effie” I smile, putting it around my neck

”I wish life could be different for you two. You both deserve... so much better” Effie cries, walking out of the room, I then hug Haymitch 

“Thank you, Haymitch. For everything” I say and he pats my back, he hugs Katniss

”Katniss. When you’re in that arena. Remember who the real enemy is” Haymitch tells her and then looks at us both 

“Any last advice for us?” I ask and he smiles 

“Stay alive”


	4. Chapter 4

“Peeta... I don’t want to be with anyone else in that arena. Only you” Katniss says, I hold her tighter in my arms 

“If that’s what you want then that’s what I want” I reply, she nods her head 

“That’s what I want” she confirms, Haymitch knocks on the door to escort me to the hovercraft, I sit up with a sigh 

“I haven’t done really well in the past at protecting the people I love but... I’m going to protect you in there, Katniss. I’ll risk my life if I have to” I reassure her

”So will I. I guess... I’ll see you in there” she replies, I give her a small smile before giving her a long kiss on the forehead

”I’ll see you there” I tell her, I open the door and look at Haymitch’s face which looks grim as he looks at me because he knows that he promised me that Katniss gets out and knows that in order for that to happen, I have to die. 

He walks me to my hovercraft before stopping me, he surprisingly pulls me in for a hug. A hug that I definitely was not expecting from him but I hug him back, taking in the feel of his hug while I’m still alive. He soon breaks the hug and puts his hands on my shoulders, looking at me in the eyes 

“Don’t forget what we agreed, Haymitch. Get Katniss out, do what you can” I tell him

“You’re a good kid, Peeta. Everyone who doubted you... they don’t deserve to have you in their lives. I know you can protect her, don’t doubt yourself” Haymitch says, his last piece of advice before I walk to my death 

“Thank you, Haymitch. I’ll never forget what you have done for me. For being a father that I lost” I reply before turning around and walking to the hovercraft, I don’t look back because I know I wouldn’t be able to get on the hovercraft if I did. 

I put on my wetsuit and look around the room, the voice announces twenty seconds until the tube door closes. I step into the clear tube with a sigh, I wish it had been possible, to run away with Katniss and her family, if she had asked me before the Victory Tour, I would’ve said yes and we would’ve left in the dead of night, long gone by daylight. 

The tube door closes and begins to rise, I shield my eyes from the light of the sun. I look around at my surroundings, I’m surrounded by water and a jungle surrounding the water, I suppose it’s ajungle... I search frantically for Katniss but I can’t find her. It starts counting down from ten and I get ready to dive in, I can’t stop thinking about where Katniss is, I need to get to her. 

Once the low drum goes off I dive into the cool water, before I could start to swim I’m pulled back, when I turn I see that it’s the man from District Nine. He punches me before I could process what’s happening, I fight back, determined to stay alive to protect Katniss, we throw punches left and right, I try climbing my pedestal to get away from him, I don’t have to kill to get out of this situation. 

This guy thinks differently, he yanks me down so that we’re underwater and puts me in a headlock. I throw punches as hard as I can, it’s not till I punch him hard in the nose that he lets me go. I violently push him away from me but he hits his head on the side of my pedestal causing him to inhale all the water I hear the echo of a canon going off, he slowly rises to the surface. 

I swim up and gasp for air as I come out of the water, Finnick is already pulling me towards the platform where Katniss is. I climb on it before we all take off running in the forest, we run for a while until we stop, multiple canons sound throughout the arena, announcing the deaths of tributes.

”I guess we’re not holding hands anymore” Finnick says then begins to laugh, I scold him for his comment 

“You think that’s funny?” Katniss scowls 

“Every time that stupid canon goes off. It’s nothing but music to my ears. I don’t care about any of them” Finnick admits 

“Good to know” Katniss says, pulling a sword from behind her 

“Look, if I wanted to kill either of you, I would’ve done it by now” Finnick’s grip tightens around his trident, I take the sword from Katniss and kiss her cheek 

“Lets keep moving. It’s not safe to be bickering right now” I interrupt before leading us, cutting down vines if I need to. 

* * *

“If Haymitch wanted him to be our ally, maybe we could think about it” I tell Katniss as we sit and eat, Finnick sitting not far, feeding Mags 

“I don’t care what Haymitch wants. I want to be with you, only you” Katniss replies in a hushed tone 

“You’re my main priority in here. Believe it or not but Finnick is a good person, take away the annoying and unnecessary humour, he’s a good friend. Lets just... stick it out” I say, taking her hand, she sighs and repositions herself so she can lay her head on my shoulder

”Fine. I trust your judgement. We can stick it out but I’m only doing this for you” she replies and I grin 

“That’s good to know. Would you trust my judgement if I told you I could take that bow of yours” I tease, Katniss scoffs 

“Absolutely not” she says, I flip her without warning and I pin her to the ground

”Are you forgetting that I was one of the best on my wrestling team” I tell her, taking the bow from behind her, she raises her eyebrow at me then brings our lips together, I smile in the kiss but just as it gets interesting, she flips us so that I’m pinned and takes back her bow. She smiles down at me and pushes some hair out of my face before kissing my forehead and moving her lips to my ear 

“I told you” she whispers 

“You know, I can expose you here. I know your ticklish spot” I grin, this makes her get off me and take her place from before 

“You dare tell anyone, I won’t be kissing you anymore” she warns as I sit next to her again 

“Well, when you put it that way. No one will ever know” I reply, she bites her lip but her smile still comes through, it makes my heart flutter to know that I can bring out the genuine smile in her. 

Katniss, Finnick, Mags and I decide to keep going. I lead the group by cutting vines out of our way. I think about my plan on getting Katniss out, Finnick will be with us until only a few are left then we’ll leave him. If we’re lucky, Katniss and I will be the last left, all I’ll have to do would be to kill myself then she wins. 

I’m so lost in my own world that I don’t realise Katniss is yelling my name until it’s too late. My blade hardly hits the force shield, throwing me back and I immediately see a white light, not too long I see two figures appear in front of me, I notice them as my parents, barefooted but dressed in clean white 

“Mom? Dad?” I say confused 

“Peeta... you’re so handsome. My baby boy” Mom smiles, I look around the white room confusingly 

“Where am I?” I ask 

“The place in between. You’re going back. It’s not your time” Dad answers 

“Peeta, we came to warn you. Dark days lay ahead in your near future. Remember my words, don’t forget who you are. Don’t let them change you” Mom says 

“Who Mom? What’s coming?” I ask 

“We cannot interfere which is why you’ll forget what I told you. You’ll only remember these words, don’t forget who you are. You must go now” she replies, suddenly they both disappear and a bright white light shines in my eyes, I shield away from the bright light and let out a gasp. 

“Peeta?” I hear Katniss’ trembling voice 

“Careful... there’s a force shield up there” I groan, this makes her laugh and kiss me

”You we’re dead... you were dead. Your heart... stopped” she cries 

“It’s okay. It’s working now” I reassure her, holding her head to my chest 

“Do you want to stand up?” She asks 

“Yeah” I reply, I stand up weakly but Katniss immediately pulls me into a tight hug, gripping tightly on the back of my head 

“From now on, we should throw things before cutting down stuff” Katniss suggests, I nod in agreement, I lead the group still but Katniss holds tightly on my hand. We find a place where we can rest for nightfall and I sit down with a sigh, Katniss next to me 

“We can stay here and rest for the night. I’ll keep first watch” Finnick says 

“Not a chance” Katniss scoffs 

“Honey. That thing I done back there for Peeta. That’s called saving his life, like I said before, if I wanted to kill either of you, I would’ve done it by now” Finnick scowls at Katniss 

“Then we’ll both keep watch” Katniss says 

“Fine by me. Try not to piss me off while your at it” Finnick remarks moving to sit on a hollow log 

“Get some sleep. I’ll be okay” Katniss says, I tense my jaw because if I sleep... I don’t want to find her dead when I wake up

”Okay... but only for a little bit” I reply and she nods. I don’t know how long I’m asleep for but I’m awoken by the tune of the Capitol anthem, I watch as different faces come up on the screen, representing each fallen tribute. It finishes then lightening starts hitting the big tree, thankfully, far from us until it stops. 

“I counted twelve” Katniss says

”Number of Districts?” Finnick questions 

“Number of deaths” Katniss replies, we then hear the familiar reparative beeping of a sponsor. Katniss gets to it first, once she knows what it is, she grabs a rock and nails the  spile into the trunk of the tree. It takes a few moments before water starts to run through it, we all eagerly drink the fresh water, I instantly feel refreshed and I have never been so happy to see water in my life. 

After we pretty much drink the tree dry, I’m still instructed to sleep, much to my dismay. I can’t dream when I sleep, my body seems unease in a way and I don’t know why that is but I soon find out when I’m awoken by screaming. I bolt up to see Katniss screaming on the ground before getting up quickly 

“Run! Run! The fog is poison!” Katniss screams, Finnick and Mags run by me, I stay so I can take Katniss’s hand. We run through the jungle, away from the white fog but of course, I’m not a skilled runner, the fog makes contact with my skin and I scream out in pain, it feels worse than being burned

”Keep running!” I yell at Katniss, my running lessening than before

”No! I’m not leaving you to die” she replies pulling on my hand, we run more but the fog catches up to us again and I fall to the ground, I hear Katniss murmur something but I can’t make it out. Even though my vision is blurry, I do know that Mags sacrifices her life so we can make it faster. Next thing I know both Katniss and Finnick are helping me through the jungle. 

We fall down the hill, the three of us all tumbling down to the bottom. I lay on my stomach, my body jolting from the burning my body has suffered. I hear Katniss’s cries of pain, I raise my head to see what’s happening and see her by a water-pool.

”The water! The water helps” she calls out, I drag my body on the ground and next to Katniss, we both drag ourselves into the water, it feels like we’re being burned a thousand times but only a few seconds later our bodies are feeling more at ease, then we drag Finnick into the water causing him to scream out in pain, something tells me that this’ll be the least of our problems.

* * *

We find more allies more, so Finnick’s allies. Johanna, Wiress and Beetee. I don’t trust them, any of them, I don’t even know how I should feel about Finnick being around. The only person that I trust right now is Katniss but I guess we’ll need them if Katniss is to get out.

My heart is racing. I’m running after Katniss. Beetee had discussed his plan until Katniss heard Prim’s screams, Finnick ran off after her first but I wish it were me when I collide with the force shield. I bang on it but it’s no use, their trapped. I see them both running towards us, Jabber Jays’ surrounding them. I try telling Katniss to stop but she collided with the force shield. Her facial expression turns to panic and starts banging on the hard surface. 

“It’s okay! I’m here! It’s okay!” I press my forehead against the shield while Katniss puts her hands over her ears and screams. It’s a whole hour until it finishes, the shield finally disappears 

“It’s okay. The hours up. You’re okay” I reassure her, I touch her shoulder and she sits up 

“Prim! Prim!” She screams 

“She’s okay. Prim’s fine. They won’t touch Prim” I tell her 

“Your fiancé is right. Forget the Districts. There’d be riots in the damn Capitol” Johanna says, she looks up at the sky, her axe raised 

“How does that sound Snow! How about we set your backyard on fire! You know you can’t put everyone in here” she screams, I look at her with a wary look 

“What? He can’t hurt me. There’s no one left that I love” she frowns 

“I’ll get you some water” she then goes axing through the greenery, I help Katniss up and pull her into a hug 

“I don’t want to be here any longer. I want us to go home” she says, her voice cracking, I pull away from our hug and grip her face 

“Listen to me. You’re getting out of here, Katniss. I’ll make sure of it. You’re strong, I know you are” I reply lightly kissing her, she nods before interlocking our hands. 

I let Katniss sit by herself and I go over to sit with Finnick, I look at him and see him watching the horizon, the sky getting ready to set. His gaze never leaves the sky, I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

”Tell me about Annie” I finally say, Finnick slowly turns his gaze to me 

“It’ll help. Talking about something you love. Talking about Annie will help you get through this” I add

”We... we met when she was seventeen, I was eighteen. She got reaped and I was her mentor. Since the day she walked up on that stage... I knew she was the one for me. I protected her with everything I had. I got her the sponsors she needed...” he looks back up to the sky 

“The only thing I wish I could’ve saved her from was the Games. It destroyed her. She wasn’t the same person but I didn’t care... I still love her. He’s the reason it happened to her” Finnick frowns 

“I know. Don’t worry. He’ll get what’s coming to him. Snakes only have so much venom” I tell him and he smiles sadly. 

Katniss and I sit away from the others, I wanted us to be alone before we put the plan in motion. I need to give her the medallion. I’m surprised though, at what she says. 

“We should go” she tells me silently 

“It’s a solid plan. It’s going to work, Katniss” I reply 

“I know that but once that canon goes off next. You know and I know there’s only going to be one person walking out of there and it’s going to be one of us” she scowls 

“Maybe... they will let two become Victors” I say

”We both know that’s not how it works” she replies and I sigh 

“Let’s just... stay with these guys until midnight and if we hear a canon, we go” I compromise, luckily she nods in agreement, here it goes... 

“Katniss... I don’t know what kind of deal you made with Haymitch but he made me promises too” I take the medallion off and open it 

“If you die and I live. I’ll have no one. No one else that I’d care about. No one left to love” I explain, I place it in her hands so she can look at the three pictures, a Mother, a sister and a potential lover 

“You have to survive, for them” I add, she slowly looks at me with a frown 

“What about you?” She asks, I give her a small smile

”Nobody needs me” I shrug 

“I do. I need you” she replies, suddenly we’re kissing. It’s a kiss we’ve never done with each other before, I grip her face to deepen the kiss. It’s a kiss that makes me know, she truely loves me back. Her heart is with me, this is the first time I realise it. We slowly break away and press our foreheads together. 

“Come on love birds!” Johanna calls out, Katniss puts the medallion around her neck before taking my hand. 

* * *

We walk towards the lightening tree, I stay holding Katniss’ hand the entire time and only let go if we need to take big steps. We get to the huge tree and Beetee starts wrapping his wire around it, Katniss and I stand off to the side, I reach into my little pocket and pull out the pearl that I’ve been saving. 

“I got this from the clam I cracked open earlier. I just... I want you to have something personally from me just in case som—“ 

“Nothing is going to happen to you” she frowns 

“If it does. Remember, this moment, it’s my gift to you” I reply, she closes it around her hand before putting it in her pocket 

“Peeta... I... I love you” she says, I smile, hearing her say this for the first time is like music to my ears 

“You do?” I ask, she nods

”I’ve only ever said that to two people. My parents, Prim and you. I need you to know that I love you. I can’t lose you, Peeta” she frowns, I grip her face in my hands 

“You won’t. I love you, Katniss. No one can take that away from you” I say and she nods, I bring our lips together for a passionate kiss.

Beetee eventually finishes wrapping at least half of the wire around the tree. He approaches Katniss and Johanna, the coil in his hand. 

“You two girls take this to the shore. Get away to our meeting point after you do so” he instructs, I can’t help myself from cutting in 

“What? No. I’m going with them” I say 

“That’s not happening, I need two guards” Beetee replies 

“Finnick can protect you just find on his own” I tell him 

“Why can’t Johanna stay and Peeta and can take the coil?” Katniss asks 

“It’s his plan we all agreed to it” Johanna says 

“Is there a problem here?” Finnick asks 

“Excellent question. Is there?” Beetee looks between Katniss and I 

“No. There’s no problem” Katniss replies, she then drops the coil and walks over to me, grabbing my face and kissing me, I kiss her back

”I’ll see you at midnight” she whispers

“See you at midnight” I agree, I watch unwillingly as she walks away with Johanna, I turn my back but... I can’t stop myself this time, I turn to find Katniss looking back at me before disappearing within the trees Finnick tries approaching me but I glare at him and Beetee

”Good luck fighting off the other Tributes on your own” I snap

“Peeta. It had to be like this” Finnick says

“No. It didn’t. After this, if you win, you’ll have a lover to go home to. Me? If she dies, I’ll have nothing and I’ll go to my grave blaming the both of you” I snarl before walking away from the two.

It’s a little while later until suddenly the wire is cut, I immediately jump up and run into the trees. Ignoring Finnick and Beetee’s calls. I’m running but I don’t find Katniss, instead I run into Chaff, who I’m surprised to see. 

“Peeta, my boy” he smiles 

“Chaff! Your alive. Have you seen Katniss?” I ask

”No but I—“ Chaff let’s out a grunt before falling to the ground. A sword is sticking deep in his neck. I look to see Brutus, all my rage piles up and I charge at him, I tackle him down but he turns us so that he’s on top, he punches me over and over but I use all the strength I have to use one of my old wrestling moves to flip him over, I punch him as hard and much as I can. 

I stop for a moment and stand over his unconscious form, I shake my sore hand before turning away. I walk over to Chaff, frowning, I kneel down and take the sword out of his neck and turn him onto his back. 

“Goodbye, dear friend” suddenly I hear yelling, I turn and see Brutus running towards me. He jumps on me but does nothing, soon blood is spilling out of his mouth and onto my face, blood seeping from the wound I’ve caused. I push him off me and watch as he struggles to battle death until he gives up and his body goes limp. 

Next thing I know the arena blows up, the roof starts falling apart everywhere. I’m confused at what’s happening but I think too much because before I can move there’s a big piece of metal flying towards me, it hits me on the head, causing me to black out completely. 


	5. Chapter 5

I groan and wake up on a cold hard floor, I sit up slowly. My head is spinning and I have to take a few deep breaths before it stops. I look around and notice I’m surrounded by metal bars, I frantically look around in search for Katniss but I find no sign of her, only a red head in the cell next to me and someone else across from me, it’s not till she sits up till I notice it’s Johanna, it’s hard to recognise her because of her now blonde hair. 

“Where am I?” I ask 

“In the Capitol. You’ve been out for three days” Johanna answers 

“Are you okay?” I ask her 

“What do you think” she scoffs, I look to the red head 

“Are you okay?” I ask, she nods 

“They don’t do anything to her. She’s too quiet to cause trouble. She’s only here because Finnick isn’t” Johanna says, I immediately know her as Annie Cresta, Finnick’s love, I slowly stand and walk over to the bars before shaking them, they’re definitely sturdy. We hear footsteps and soon Snow enters with four Peacekeepers

”Good to see you’ve awoken. My boy” Snow grins evilly 

“I’m sure it is. Let them go. They haven’t done anything to you” I frown 

“I’m afraid they have ties with the members of the rebellion. They deserve punishments, no matter how sensitive” they go to unlock Annie’s cage but I stop them 

“Give her punishments to me. Please. Don’t touch her. Double up on mine. Spare her, please” I beg

”I suppose I could. Of course, I can only do that for one of you. I’m afraid, Miss Mason won’t be as lucky” Snow says, he nods to three of the Peacekeepers who enter Johanna’s cell, locking it behind them, the other Peacekeeper comes into mine, locking it. I punch him but he fights back, punching me harder, restraining me so there’s no possible escape

“What are they doing?” I ask him 

“Enjoying themselves. Enjoy, Mr Mellark” he grins before leaving 

“Get off me, animals!” She screams, one of them punches her so hard she goes to the floor 

“Shut it you no good whore. Now, be a good girl” one says, grabbing her by the hair and throwing her onto the sorry excuse of a bed, I look to Annie who has her hands over her ears and eyes squeezed shut 

“Hold her down, boys” the head Peacekeeper orders, unbuckling his pants while his men hold down Johanna so she can’t fight back, she doesn’t look strong enough to fight back either, she’s so skinny I can see the outlines of her bones... 

“Hey! Stop it! Leave her alone!” I call out, the head Peacekeeper turns to me, naked from the waist down 

“Talking earns an extra hour for her. My men have you to thank for getting to fuck the whore senseless. Don’t think about looking away or closing your eyes, not unless you want her red and blue all over” he says, he hops on top of Johanna, she gets a hand loose and punches the man on top of her but he easily pins her arms down

”Restraints, boys” he says, the two Peacekeepers take out wrist, ankle and leg restraints, pulling them tight, I can’t fight back, I’m hopeless 

“Smell that boys?” He gives a sickening grin, he rips Johanna’s gown off so she’s exposed entirely 

“That’s the smell of fear. Isn’t it delicious?” He sighs, stroking himself, Johanna screams out and fights against the restraints but the more she screams, the more rough he gets, Johanna grows silent until her body is hardly moving, I’m forced to watch it all, I can’t help but cry, hearing his animalistic grunts and the squeaking of the bed. 

They all take turns, even the one restraining me got to have a turn. The sickening part? They look to the cameras, laughing and holding a fist up like it’s something amazing that they got to accomplish. They finish up and undo the restraints, Johanna lays still, they leave her cell, calling her a good for nothing slut or whore who wanted it all. 

“Johanna...” I call out desperately 

“Johanna... are you alive?” I call out, looking at her motionless body

”Yes...” her whisper broken and filled with fear 

“They’ll pay. I’ll make sure of it” I tell her but I don’t get a response, I didn’t expect one but I know that next time one of them comes in here again, I’ll fight as hard as I can.

* * *

I’m forced to call a ceasefire. Say things I didn’t mean for the safety of Johanna, Annie and especially Katniss. Apparently my message made it worse, Snow gets the idea to break Katniss, the only way he knows how, with me. He starved me mostly out of Johanna and Annie and when he feeds me, it’s old stale bread and not so clean water. 

“You’ve been in two Games and look at how pathetic you are” the head Peacekeeper scoffs as he punches me again 

“Get a little closer and say it again” I growl, he grins but not an amused one, more of a taunting grin 

“Your little girlfriend is in District Thirteen. Snow is planning to bomb then storm it you know. Once she’s brought here... she’s going to be my personal favourite. I’d love the sweet taste of a Mockingjay” he grins in my face, I take the chance to head but him in the nose, he pulls back and holds it in pain, looking at the blood on his hand

“Oh, boy. We’re going to have fun” he says, he nods to his men who drag me to a familiar looking stand, a whipping post

”Chain him up” he commands, I don’t fight it because I know I’m out numbered so I allow it to happen, I’m stripped from my shirt and I prepare myself 

“You’re a nobody” he taunts, whipping my back, I cry out in pain 

“You’re all alone” he says, whipping again. He repeatedly whips me until my body falls limp. I’m dragged back to my cell and thrown on the cold floor

”I’ve noticed that you don’t like us hitting your red headed mouse” the head Peacekeeper unlocks Annie’s cell 

“No... stop” I grumble into the floor, I watch as he slaps her then punches her then he starts unbuckling, I try my best to stand but I can’t, so I say what I need to say from the ground

”You’re a coward and a disgrace. You’re a disgusting pig” I spit, then Snow walks in 

“Conrad. She is not here for those reasons. She’s here to make her lover vulnerable. You have your woman” Snow gestures to Johanna, rocking back and forth in the corner, her hair completely shaved off, Conrad storms out of Annie’s cell, locking it with rage, storming into Johanna’s

“Get on the bed, whore” he snarls, Johanna doesn’t listen at first, resisting, she looks at him with a glare and spits on him, he looks to Snow who nods. Conrad grabs Johanna and punches her, she falls to the ground, he repeatedly punches her until his fists are red

“That’s what I thought, slut” he grumbles, I’m too weak to move, he continues to punch Johanna

”That’s your fault, Peeta. Remember that” Snow says, I squeeze my eyes shut and try thinking of Katniss, her raven coloured hair in a single braid, her silver grey eyes, her plump peach lips that I miss kissing, her body warmth... having her in my arms.

I scream out in pain as they shock me, it feels like my entire body is burning. I try breaking the restraints, I try to fight back but it’s no use... they know what their doing, starving me so I’m too weak to fight back. 

“Now, Peeta. I really do hate liars. Tell me, what are Alma Coin’s plans with the rebels” Snow says 

“Like I said before. I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about” I reply 

“We thought you’d say that. That’s why we have a little clip to show you, something that may motivate you” a screen flashes and it’s cut to the Capitol square, my prep team kneel, all beaten and looking terrified. 

_“Great citizens of the Capitol. We gather to witness the death of the prep team who associates with The Mockingjay’s lover. Their crime is disloyalty to president Snow”_

I watch as they get shot with shock bullets, they all scream out in pain as more shock bullets come in contact with them. They all die screaming from the pain, I can’t help but let a few tears run down my face, it’s all my fault that they’re dead right now... my fault. 

_“Let this be a warning to anyone who is thinking to join with the rebels’. This will be your fate if you are not loyal to your president”_

The screen goes blank. I look to Snow with a look of anger and hatred. What kind of president is he? Why does he believe that this is okay? Because it’s not, killing innocent people just to make me weak is quite a low standard. 

“They didn’t do anything. They weren’t with the rebels’” I seethe 

“Oh we know. It’s an example of what happens when you even associate with a symbol” Snow replies 

“What is it about Katniss that scares you so much to result to killing innocent people?” I ask, I grin when this catches him off guard, he looks terrified for the first time since I’ve known about him 

“I am not scared of an eighteen-year-old girl, Mr Mellark” he replies

”But I think you are. Do you want to know why? Because Katniss is stronger than you’ll ever be, she defies your so called rules and laws. She fights for the better good. Your blood runs cold at the mention of her because she doesn’t have a black, snake wrapped heart like you do” I taunt 

“You result in mass murders of children. Killing anyone who dares to give anyone hope of a better life. You know that if the rebels’ stormed here right now, they’ll get too you easier than anyone may think. You know that the last few grains of sand in your hourglass is slipping away and Katniss is one step away from shaking it until it’s empty” I add, Snow looks to the Peacekeeper 

“Turn it to ten” he commands 

“Mr President, with all do respect... it could kill him” the Peacekeeper replies 

“It could kill him. We’ll have to see I suppose” Snow grins, next thing I know, I feel the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I scream out the loudest I’ve ever screamed, my wrists are desperately fighting against the restraints, it finally stops and my body falls limply 

“Conrad. Make him feel more at home. You have an hour” Snow commands leaving the room, I’m unbuckled from the restraints but I can’t swing at him, I’m too weak

”This is going to be one fun hour, Mellark” he grins punching my face, kicking my stomach and then forcing me to stand, chaining me in a standing position before punching repeatedly. I focus less on the pain and relay Katniss’ beautiful features until I’ve gone over the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes, by then Conrad is finished but I can barely move, making him very happy with himself. 

Today is a starving day. No beatings, just starvation and a little healing before beatings startup again. I look as Johanna has her head laid against the wall, looking at her feet with an emotionless expression on her face. 

“Why didn’t you all let me go with Katniss?” I ask, Johanna looks up, she probably expects me to look angry but I’m not, my look is filled with disappointment and sadness 

“Haymitch told us his plan. We all knew you wouldn’t have the guts to cut out Katniss’ tracker, we couldn’t have her in Thirteen with her tracker still in, Finnick had cut his out himself” she replies 

“Thanks to this master plan. I’m here and Katniss is else where probably losing her damn mind” I say 

“You sound pretty confident that she likes you” Johanna scoffs 

“I know she loves me. I could see it before she left with you. I know my Katniss well enough to know what her looks mean” I scold 

“Love is for morons” she grumbles, I look to Annie who frowns 

“Love is for people who have almost nothing of themselves. Love is the strongest emotion out there. It takes courage to love someone or thing endlessly, knowing that there’s a chance you won’t see them again” I reply, Annie smiles a little

”Thinking of Katniss is what keeps me sane right now” I sigh, softly hitting my head on the rough wall, closing my eyes hating that she isn’t in my arms  

“I’m sorry we split you both from each other. It seemed like the best plan at the time” I look to Johanna with a sad smile 

“At least it’s me in here, not Katniss” I reply, what I say is true because I’d go through this daily if it meant Katniss wasn’t going through it 

“Thank you... Peeta” I look over to Annie who hasn’t talked to me until now 

“For what?” I ask 

“For stopping them. Taking my beatings for me. Finnick would be proud of you” she replies

”You both don’t deserve this. I wish there was a way to get you both out” I frown 

“And you deserve this?” Annie questions 

“Of course I do. I’ve done some pretty shitty things in my past” I say 

“We all have but we’re not Snow. You’re not Snow” Annie replies, I give her a small smile because I know I’m not as evil as Snow is but I’ve done shitty things that I’m not proud of in my life which is why I’m here, experiencing this pain. 

* * *

“You know, Mellark. I almost feel bad for you” Conrad scoffs as he takes the burner from my skin 

“I feel bad that you don’t get to fuck that little Mockingjay anymore. I bet she’s a screamer. She scratches you, doesn’t she? Oh... the things we’re going to do when we bomb Thirteen tomorrow and take that precious Mockingjay as prisoner. I’ll make you watch as I completely ruin her, break her” he grins

”You’re not going to touch her” I growl 

“Aren’t I?” He taunts, I glare at him 

“She’ll kick your ass. Trust me, I’d know. She’s fought off guys bigger than you before” I snarl 

“What makes you think she’ll be armed. Who said I’ll do it alone?” He says and I fight against the restraints 

“I bet she’s tight. Isn’t she? I bet she begs for more” he tells 

“I use to think you were insane to volunteer but... I understood why. So you could continue to smash her into oblivion” he gives me a sickly grin 

“Shut up! Don’t talk about Katniss like that!” I yell, he presses the electric stick against me, shocking my entire body 

“Oh, I will. Only because I know that she makes you weak. Making it easier to torture you” he says as my body falls limply in the chair I’m currently in, my thoughts on Katniss, putting my plan in motion, if I get just a little sign that Katniss is out there, I’m telling her about Snows plans. 

I watch as a drenched Johanna gets thrown into her cell. She coughs up water, I make her to send a dirty look to the Peacekeeper as he leaves. I hate that they torture Johanna and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, Snow warned me that he was apparently being generous when he promised me Annie won’t get tortured. Apparently I’ll be taking away all the fun if I take Johanna’s beatings too... Snow is a monster. 

Snow and along with two Peacekeepers enter my cell, I stay sitting against the wall. I’ve completely lost track of time and have almost entirely given up on my life, given up on living all together. I look to Snow who glances at me differently, he no longer sees me as a threat, I’m a parasite that he has almost gotten rid of.

”My, my, Mr Mellark. You’re looking a little ill” he says, I sigh, not in the mood for his taunting

”What do you want, Snow” I reply 

“Just to remind you that your on tomorrow. I think you definitely look the part” he grins evilly 

“What do you gain from this exactly? Witnessing others’ in pain?” I ask 

“I gain the reassurance of the danger ceasing to exist. You’re all apart of the rebellion, a danger to my system” he replies 

“Or, maybe being a president who is kind and caring could win over every Districts’ affections. Still having a firm and strict law enforced but one that didn’t include a yearly death Game” I suggest 

“Have you not learned? Kind and caring leaders are what brought the Dark Days in the first place. In order for our the Districts’ to be fearful, the system must be stable” he says 

“What makes you think Annie and Johanna are apart of the rebellion?” I ask 

“You really don’t know?” He asks

“Well, this is certainly interesting” he grins. “Your beloved mentor was always going to get Katniss out, it seems like you weren’t part of that plan. No one cared what happened to you. I’m sorry to say this but, you’re worthless, the dirt on everyone’s shoe. Especially for Katniss Everdeen, The Mockingjay” he adds, I look down with a frown, letting his words sink in...

”Answer me this question. If you were so important, then why haven’t they rescued you? Or at least attempted to rescue you?” He asks, I don’t answer with what I really want to say but my entire self, as I knew is almost entirely gone

“Because... I’m nothing” I answer, Snow grins

“Exactly right, Mr Mellark. I must say, you’ve been strong for these past few months. You’ve surprised me by breaking this soon. I suppose you really aren’t as strong as you think you are. Perhaps that’s why your two friends died horrific deaths. Because you weren’t strong enough to protect them” he says, it’s true... I wasn’t strong enough... Snow and his Peacekeepers leave, I get up and limp over to my sorry excuse of a bed and look at the dark brick wall 

”It’s not true, Peeta. Don’t let him get to you” Annie says, I don’t reply... she’s wrong

”You are strong, Peeta. Katniss needs you to stay that way. Don’t give up” Johanna calls out but again, I don’t reply. Katniss doesn’t need me, she loves me but doesn’t need me. 

This time, when I get tortured, I let Conrad and the other Peacekeepers say their bits, I take the blow and the only sounds I make are of pain. They’ve started doing it in my cell, making Annie and Johanna watch as I’m beaten, burned and shocked, they both scream for them to stop but they never do. 

“You know... I think I actually miss you talking” Conrad grins. “Let’s see what you’ll say when I do this” he says walking out and going into Johanna’s cell, I turn away as I hear it all unfolding, only silent tears fall down my face because I know that we’re going to die in here, these will be what we will feel as we take our last proper breath before slipping away from the living.

* * *

”Remember, Mr Mellark. Convince the rebels. Be a hero and stop this rebellion” Snow commands as I get practically thrown in the chair. All I do is nod my head. Caesar starts the interview and I answer the questions, no true meaning behind my answers. I beg into the camera for it to end. That’s when it happens... a flicker of Katniss and she’s singing...

“Katniss...” I sigh but it’s gone and I’m brought back to the interview, we’re interrupted when she comes on, singing. She’s alive... she’s safe... I get every ounce of strength and courage that I have left, I look directly into the camera, knowing that Katniss is watching

”They’re coming, Katniss” I watch as Snow nods to the Peacekeepers behind me. “They’re bombing District Thirteen! You’ll be dead by morning!” I yell as they take me away but I said my piece before they could cut them out. I fight against them as they drag me away and into an unfamiliar white room, I’m strapped down on a white bed and things are plastered on my temples and the back of my head, then we wait.

Snow comes in after a long while, a man dressed in a white coat wheeling a tray in behind him. I watch as Snow slams the door shut behind him, he’s definitely angry. 

“There were no casualties when the bombing of Thirteen. All because of that stunt you pulled” he frowns 

“I don’t care how long you torture me. I can die knowing that Katniss is alive” I reply

”Hmm. Well, they’re on their way to rescue you. Too late I suppose, they’re not expecting for us to let them out alive like we plan to” he picks up the syringe with a clear liquid 

“Tracker Jacked venom. We’ve studied it, we have found new ways to use it. I inject this into anyone and their memories of a person, is wiped away. It’d be a shame if you saw your precious little girlfriend... as a monster, a mutt, a threat. What a shame will it be? When you kill her with your bare hands. You are our weapon, the person who can now successfully kill The Mockingjay” he explains walking towards me and I try breaking loose 

“Get away from me! No! Katniss! Katniss! Kat—“ my words are stoped as the liquid is injected and my old self and memories are locked away, replaced with a blank slate 

“Remember who Katniss Everdeen is? She tried attacking you when you saw her last. She didn’t say I love you until you were taken. She’s a mutt, a threat, a monster. Katniss Everdeen is the enemy” Snow says, she’s a mutt... a threat... monster... she’s the enemy and I must kill her before she murders me

”Katniss Everdeen is the enemy” I grumble. I get thrown in my cell, _He_ won’t stop screaming in my head, telling me that she’s not a mutt but she is and I must kill her. My head snaps to the gas filling our cells, my memories go back to the Games where Katniss tried pushing me into the poison fog... that’s all I remember before blacking out completely. 

I’m on a bed... healers surrounding me, checking my body, looking at my injuries that were caused in that horrible place. They instruct me to sit up to wrap something around my arm, it’s not long till I hear it... _her_ voice 

“Peeta...” she’s trying to trick me, making her voice sound broken and lonely... it won’t work. She comes into view, _Katniss_ , I hear him whisper but I shut him out and jump at her. Locking my hands around her throat, putting pressure around her throat, I slam her into the glass near by and push a man off me. I’m on top of her, I’ve got her. She’s almost dying... then I black out. 


	6. Chapter 6

I jolt as I wake up, I look around to see a familiar face, he’s a big man too. They’ve trapped me... they must be with the mutt, she must still be alive. A man in a white coat is next to him with a board with paper on it. The healer writes down something before looking up and nodding at the man who I now recognise... Plutarch Heavensbee...

”Hello, Peeta. Do you know where you are?” He asks 

“District Thirteen” I growl

”Correct. I don’t know if you remember, I’m Plutarch Heavensbee. This is doctor Aurelius, he’s going to help us figure out what happened. Can you tell us?” He asks 

“It happened... after I warned them... I was shown who Katniss Everdeen really is” I reply,  _please. Let me talk to them_ , no. I will not allow this mission to be jeopardised 

“What about Peeta? Is he still there?” The man asks, I grin evilly

“He is. He wants to talk but I won’t let him. He’ll ruin the mission” I answer

“What mission?” Plutarch asks

“Killing The Mockingjay” I reply. “That’s why your men got out alive. Peeta isn’t in control anymore, I am” I snarl

“Thank you for talking to us” Plutarch gets up and exits, Dr Aurelius following right behind him, scribbling down on the paper.

I scream and shout, I try breaking the restraints but nothing works, that doesn’t mean I don’t stop trying. She needs to die. I must destroy the mutt. I need to kill Katniss Everdeen.

I turn my head to the sound of the door opening, the blonde girl smiles at me. She’s the mutt’s sister but I don’t feel the urge to harm her, she sits on the edge of my bed and takes my hand, I look at it with confusion.

“Peeta. Please, I know this isn’t you. You need to fight against it” _I’m trying Prim, know that I’m trying_

”He’s pathetic. He’s never coming back” I say

“Why do you want to kill my sister?” Prim asks

“Because, she’s tried to kill me before, she slapped me when I gave her that bread and abandoned me in the Games” I frown

“She never done any of that. She loves you, Peeta. You must know that” she begs, I look to the glass in front of me, only seeing my reflection but I know she’s behind there... watching

“She sent you here... she sent you to weaken me so she can kill me” I finally figure out... she’s a mutt

“No, Peeta” she says

“She’s a mutt! Prim! You have to kill her! She’s a mutt!” Prim runs out of the room but I scream for her to kill Katniss, the mutt that she is.

I don’t know how long I’m strapped to this bed but they feed me meals, give me water but since Prim I’ve had no visitors. I’ve sensed them behind the glass but no one has really come inside to talk to me and I could care less.

_Please, stop this_

No. She must die

_But I love her. We can’t let Snow get away with this_

Snow isn’t any part of this. Shut up before I break through these restraints and slowly kill her. 

The door to my room opens and this time it’s a man. The man who I haven’t seen in years, the man who blames me from my past. He walks in and sits on a chair by my bed with a sigh, he looks at me like I’m a wounded animal.

”You remember me?” He asks 

“Your Thom. Delly was your girlfriend” I reply and he nods

”Jeez, I’m sorry this had to happen to you. You didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve how I treated you back then” he frowns

”It was my fault. I killed her, I killed Delly” I say, I’m so sure of it, Snow showed me, showed how I killed her 

“No, you didn’t. You tried protecting her. Listen... Peeta, if you’re in there... I’m sorry for what I said to you when you got home. You’re not a failure. You’re the strongest man I know and... the love you have for Katniss... it’s stronger than any love I’ve ever had. I don’t blame you anymore, I never did. What I said... was in grief, I lost my other half. Delly loved you like you were her brother, she’d tell you to fight against it, Peeta” he says, I can feel him trying to push through 

“I—can’t—he can’t push through. I have to kill her Thom” I say but I tense as I feel Peeta come to the surface. “Thom. Please, protect Katniss from me. I can’t—“ I look to the glass pleadingly 

“Katniss. I love you, I’m trying. Stay awa—mutt! You’re all mutts!” I yell, I yell at Peeta too but I know he’s smirking when he tells me that I’m getting weaker. 

All because Peeta came through, they’ve had Thom come in a lot more often and talk to me. I always close my eyes and try to focus on fighting Peeta who is so persistent in taking full control, I won’t let him.

For the first time in a while I start to get nervous, Plutarch and Dr Aurelius walk in with two other unfamiliar people, one pushing a tray and the other pushing a monitor. They strap patches to my chest and the monitor starts beeping, it’s going up and down calmly. 

“We’ve studied you for a month now and we have come up with a harmless but temporary anti-serum. This way, we’ll get a few minutes with Peeta, completely blocking you out” Plutarch explains as Dr Aurelius picks up they syringe, I fight against the restraints but the two men hold me down, the syringe is injected into my neck and I feel myself slipping away...

”Peeta? Are you in control?” Plutarch asks, holy shit... that actually worked?

”What... how... where’s Katniss?” I ask, just as I do the door opens and Katniss steps in but she stays by the door, she looks like she hasn’t been sleeping, her eyes are bloodshot and a little puffy... she’s been crying... 

“Katniss...” I sigh, she steps closer and closer, right until she’s by my side, slowly she puts a hand on my cheek and I embrace her touch as much as I can. I’m surprised when I feel her lips on mine but I don’t take long before kissing back, we break away and press our foreheads together 

“Fuck. I’ve missed you. I thought of you every goddamn day. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long” I sigh 

“I’ve missed you, Peeta. You need to fight it. Do it for me” she croaks 

“I will, My Love. I’ll fight _him_ every second. Please... don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone” I feel myself grow heavy, awaiting her answer 

“Never. Not again. I won’t let him tear you away from me” she says kissing me again 

“Remember. It’s not me when it’s in control. It’s a Capitol mutt” I reassure her, stroking her hand with my thumb

”I will. I’m not giving up on you, Peeta” 

* * *

Finnick and Annie get married. I was asked to help bake a cake and I decorated it too. I’ve also helped Thirteen improve on their disgusting tasting food. People seem much happier now.

They’ve done something to me... when I see her... I’m not consumed with rage. She confuses me, I want to attack her but at the same time I want to pin her down and relive our good nights, alone. 

Once a week they inject me and show me repeats of clips that I have gotten wrong. I’m confused because nothing makes any sense anymore. My ankle is still chained to the wall but I have freedom in my room, they even put a curtain on the glass, giving me some privacy which they told me that I earned. 

I sit on my bed reciting who I am. I’m Peeta Mellark, I’ve been in The Hunger Games twice, I love but hate Katniss Everdeen. I want to kill her. I don’t want to kill her. I repeat it over and over again until my door opens and Katniss steps in, my eyebrows furrow at how she got in but it amuses me in a way. 

“You’re not afraid I’ll hurt you?” I ask

”I know you won’t. At least not right now” she replies, stepping closer 

“Yeah well, thanks to your little boyfriend I have to be triggered now to attack you” I grumble 

“I... I hope this doesn’t trigger it” she admits, giving me a pad, I flick through at all the things drawn, most are of her and signed with my initials... I remember these drawings, I come across a certain one... Katniss is in a fiery dress... our first date 

”You said... you said that no one will be able to take your love for me away. I thought Snow done that, I don’t really know if he still has” she admits, I look to her neck where the brown bruise is and... did I just feel... guilt? Sadness? Regret?

”I brought these with me too” she says showing my pastels 

“They didn’t get ruined in the bombing?” I ask

”Luckily not. You left them in my house. You once said drawing was therapeutic. Maybe it’ll help you get through this too” she replies, I lean over and kiss her cheek, surprising both myself and her

“Thank you...” I reply, she nods before turning away and leaving. I sit down and open to a blank page, I immediately start sketching and relax almost instantly like she said I would, a bit of myself coming back... my urge to harm her grows less. 

I’m sketching peacefully when the door to my room opens. My head turns to look and I see Alma Coin walk in with two guards by her side, the two guards look me up and down, they step forward when I rise from my seat. I look at them confusingly but Coin tells them to back down from doing anything.

”Mr Mellark. It’s good to see improvement” she smiles, a smile that doesn’t look entirely genuine 

“Thank you...” I trail off 

“Let me just explain the reason why I’ve come today” she says, I nod. “You’re joining the rebellion” she announces

”What? Why? I’m not stable to fight in a war” I reply 

“You won’t fight. You’ll be apart of The Mockingjay’s star squad. Just for show” she explains

”But no one on that squad trusts me. What if I hurt Katniss?” I ask 

“Precisely” she smiles, I raise my eyebrow 

“What are your real intentions, Coin” I reply 

“President Coin to you, Mutt” I narrow my look to one of the guards 

“Not to me. I wasn’t aware I was being rescued. I don’t go by your rules. Also, I’d watch who you call mutt again” I snap at him, Coin gives her guard a look before turning to me 

“I’m afraid you have no choice. Milo here will escort you to get changed and to your hovercraft” she instructs 

“What makes you think I’ll listen to you exactly?” I ask 

“I know that now you’ve improved, you care about Katniss Everdeen. A shame if Snow knows her exact coordinates” she says, I glare at the woman, she’s just like him and I know what her intentions are... she wants me to kill Katniss and this time... I’m afraid that I might do just that. 

Just like expected, I wasn’t trusted and immediately handcuffed, I’m sat with Finnick who volunteers to look after me. No one lets me alone, yet alone anywhere near Katniss. I steal glances at her, trying to figure her out, my memories of her foggy and I have no idea how I can decipher them the way that they were. 

“Here. Eat something” Finnick says giving me a plastic plate 

“Thank you” I reply, he nods 

“So, you really can’t remember your memories of Katniss?” He asks, I shake my head 

“I know the feeling. I feel it every time I see her but the memories are foggy” I reply 

“Well, I for one, know that you definitely loved her. In those Games, you hardly let anyone touch her. You protected her with your life” he says 

“She never tried to kill me?” I ask

”Never. You loved her. She loved you too. She still does” he replies

”I wouldn’t go as far to say that” I frown 

“Why do you say that?” He asks 

“Because... I choked her. I tried to kill her, Finnick” I rub my wrists against the cuffs as I feel _him_ want to take over 

“That wasn’t who you really are, Peeta” he says patting my shoulder. “Come on, lets get some sleep” he says helping me up, he walks me over to the other side of the room. I lay down and close my eyes, I try to sleep but the nightmares are always there. 

I jolt awake and frantically take in my surroundings. I sit up against the wall when I realise I’m not in the Capitol, I’m not safe but I’m not getting tortured, laying in a cold cell. I rub the handcuffs against my already raw skin on my wrists. I found that this is a new way that helps me keep in control... not make me a danger to anyone else. 

“You thirsty?” I look next to me and look at Katniss offering me her bottle 

“Thank you” I reply, I take the bottle and take a sip of water before giving it back to her, I look around and see only Finnick and Gale awake

”Are you yourself?” She asks, I shake my head

”I don’t want to hurt you, if that’s what your asking. I’m not fully Peeta either” I reply

“I don’t want to hurt you either” she says 

“You don’t? Why?” I ask 

“Because... we were allies...” she answers 

“Victor. Lover. Symbol. Ally. Mutt. Yeah, thanks, I’ll add that to my list on trying to figure you the hell out” I snap, I watch her face turn to hurt and I sigh. “I’m sorry... my head... it’s hard. My memories are foggy... everything is foggy” I frown 

“Well ask us. That’s what Annie does. Ask if it’s real or not real” Finnick says, I nod 

“I... we... we were together... romantically, real or not real?” I ask, looking to Katniss 

“Real” she replies 

“Snow is the enemy, real or not real?” 

“Real” Katniss says, I look down at my hands 

“I don’t remember who I am anymore...” I mumble

”I do. You were a baker. A painter. You double knotted your shoe laces. You always slept with the window open. You’re caring. Protective. You... loved me... I’m sorry, I can’t do this” she says getting up and sitting on the other side of the room by herself. I run over what she said... I remember drawing... I drew everything, I enjoyed it, it relaxed me. 

* * *

I wake up in an unfamiliar apartment, I am immediately filled with guilt as I remember what I had done. I let _him_ in control... I murdered one of our squad members. I’m a murderer... he never done anything to me, I tried killing Katniss. 

“We need to keep moving. We’ll do as we discussed and travel underground” Jackson says, everyone stands up but me 

“Leave me... I’ll let Snow know I’m here... I’ll only crack again. I’ll kill one of you again” I say 

“Don’t be stupid, Peeta. Come on” Finnick stands me up but I shake my head 

“I’m not coming, not unless I get a Nightlock pill. I want to die the next time I crack. A murderer deserves to die with no mercy” I reply 

“No. We’re not doing that. You’re part of our squad” Katniss says

“She’s right, Peeta. You’re not you when you become _him_ ” Jackson replies, I look to Gale, he goes into his pocket and gives me the purple, almost black, pill. I don’t miss the look that Katniss gives him

”Just make sure that you use it before you finish the rest of us off” Gale scowls

”Thank you” I reply, putting the pill in my pocket, Finnick takes my arm and together we follow everyone out of the apartment. 

Getting to our underground hideout was a long trip. Seeing as I’m untrustworthy... people take turns watching me. While they do, I go over my memories, I remember... when Katniss and I first... slept together. The more time I’ve spent asking real or not real questions, my memories have somewhat started to reveal bits and pieces. I can only remember two things, the rest are glassy, shining memories that are blurred. 

They all take watch until it’s Katniss’ turn, she sits across from me with her arms folded. I rub my wrists against the cuffs, the pain of it against my raw skin pushes _him_ down further. I hear _him_ slightly, begging to be in control again... I won’t let him. 

“Why do you do that?” Katniss asks 

“It helps. If I do it regularly then I feel more in control. I’ve put people at risk for being here. I see what they all see, what you see. A mutt. A no good for nothing mutt who doesn’t deserve to live” I frown 

“That’s not true” she scowls

”Isn’t it? Have I not tried to kill you twice? Have I not murdered one of our squad members? Have I not said hurtful things to you?” I reply 

“I don’t care. I care about what happens to you, believe it or not. Which is why I’m asking for that Nightlock pill” she says, holding out her hand but I shake my head 

“It’s safer this way. I-I-I don’t trust myself” I admit, she puts her hand over my cuffed wrists, I look into her silver eyes 

“I trust you. Please, Peeta, don’t leave me again. Give me the pill” she frowns, I let out a sigh, I reach in and grab the pill before giving it to her. She kisses my cheek in return, I touch where she kissed and notice that I’m smiling 

“Get some sleep” she says, I nod and lay my head against the railing. 

 _Katniss_. _Katniss_. _Katniss_. I bolt awake to see Katniss standing out in the water, looking up and down the long dark tunnel. I wasn’t the only one hearing it... he’s found us.

”We need to leave. Now!” I try getting up frantically before Finnick finally helps me up 

“What’s going on?” Gale asks

”Their here. Their coming for Katniss. Snow knows we’re down here” I say already getting out of our hideout

”Which way do we go?” Finnick asks. They let the halo lead them but we’re running out of time.

Fighting off the terrifying lizard mutts handcuffed was the hardest tasks I’ve ever had to do, I was able to save Katniss from one before I was forced to climb the ladder. It’s not till Katniss blows up the ground below us that the running begins. We dodge the death lights and run even faster when the blades burst up from the ground. 

We jump to safe ground but all the shooting from the Peacekeepers is making me triggered. I hold my hands over my ears and squeeze my eyes shut.

”Peeta!” I feel her hands on me but I can’t 

“No! Leave me! I’m a mutt! I’m a mutt!” I yell but she forces me to look at her 

“Peeta! Stay with me” she says, bringing our lips in for a kiss, I savour it while I can 

“Always” I reply. We run behind a yelling Cressida as she leads us through the dark and empty streets of the Capitol square. 

We end up in the basement of an ex-stylist who was a stylist in the Games. We sit in the basement... the cries of Pollux at the loss of his brother echos against the hard walls. Only, Katniss, Gale, Cressida, Pollux and I are left of our squad, the rest have all died. Katniss looks around at us, a pained expression on her face. 

“There was no secret mission from Coin. I... I brought you all here to get to Snow. I’m sorry, Pollux” she says 

“We know” Gale says 

“You do?” She asks

”Do you really think Jackson believed that you had a secret mission from Coin? She trusted Bogg’s judgement, he knew that you’re the only one who can stop Snow once and for all” Cressida replies

”What do they mean? Delly, Sadie, Clove, Cato, Rue, Finnick, Chaff, Castor. It means our lives were never our own. Our lives belong to Snow and so do our deaths but Katniss... if you end this, all those lives... they’ll mean something” I tell her

”He’s right” Cressida nods, Katniss nods too, a silent agreement that we’ll help her get to Snow. A while later she comes over to me and un-cuffs me, revealing my raw red wrists

“I’m going to clean this up. Don’t want it getting infected” she says dabbing a white clean cloth over my wounds with a liquid on it that stings

“Thank you... for giving me the boost” she says

“Anything for you. I just don’t want you to die while doing so” I tell her

“I won’t. I promise. You know... I never stopped loving you” she admits

“You didn’t?” I ask   

“Never” she confirms 

“I thought of you every day in the Capitol. I’d go over every inch of your body until it’s all been memorised before I restarted. I imagined having you in my arms... you made me stronger for a long time in there” I say 

“I wished it were me that got caught...” she whispers, I take her hands and shake my head 

“No. What I went through... I would never want you to go through what I had went through” I frown, kissing her hands, I take my hand and tuck a loose piece of her hair behind her ear 

“You’re so beautiful” I smile, she has a hint of a smile on her sweet lips before it disappears 

”Now, that should feel much better” she packs everything

”Are you going to cuff me?” I ask 

“No. I trust you” she says

”I don’t trust me. Please, cuff me. I don’t have that pill anymore” I frown, she scowls before nodding her head, she cuffs me but I don’t expect it when she lays her head on my lap. I lean my head back, closing my eyes with a smile. 

When I wake up, everyone else is asleep. Everyone except Gale, he’s looking at Katniss and I with an expression I don’t know. He watches as Katniss stirs in her sleep before moving further up my lap, I look down and smile at her. 

“She loves you” I look up and look to Gale 

“She does? It wasn’t all for a show?” I ask

”No. The way she kissed you in the Quell... she’s never kissed me like that” he replies 

“She’s kissed you before?” It makes me confused because if she’s always loved me... why would she kiss Gale? 

“Relax. Once before you two got together and another time when you were in the Capitol. She only kissed me when she was in pain... whenever she felt bad for me. With you... it’s different somehow” he admits 

“She loves you too. She’s bound to choose you, someone who’s stable” I reply 

“I’m not so confident that she will. We’ll find out soon enough” he says 

“How will we know?” I ask, he looks at her sleeping on my lap 

“She’ll choose whoever she can’t live without” 

* * *

 I watch painfully as Katniss and Gale put on their cloaks. I can’t let them do this... this will for sure kill them. It’ll kill Katniss... I can’t let that happen. I can help them in a way, I just need to be there and they can get straight in. 

“Katniss, let me come. I’ll be a good distraction, they know my face” I say, she walks over to me 

“I’ve lost you before, Peeta. I’m not losing you again” she says as she un-cuffs me

” _I_ trust you. That’s enough. I won’t let them take you again” she adds, she then pulls in into a hug, a hug that I return

”Next time we see each other it’ll be a different world” I mumble

I don’t know how long we’re hugging but long enough for Cressida to announce that it’s time. I’m forced to stand there and watch as they both walk out that door. Almost immediately after they leave, I do to, adjusting my own cloak. I can’t let her do this, not when I can do something.

I got there... right before the first bomb went off. I saw it... when the second round went off and her sister was blown. I run to Katniss, taking off my cloak, I cover her with it, putting out the fire but her eyes are closed when I take it away. Carefully I pick her up, the rebels storming past us, knocking down the gates to the presidential mansion. I look up as the hovercraft lowers itself to the ground, Haymitch standing there as the door opens. 

We all wait for Katniss in the meeting room of Snows mansion. I nervously bob my knee and pull at my hair, I can’t be in here any longer. Coin needs to keep this moving, I look as a small hand goes over my own, I look to Annie who gives me a small smile, putting her hand back in her lap. 

Finally, Katniss walks in. It’s the first time I’ve seen her since she left the store in the Capitol square. She looks different... she looks empty... hollow. She sits down next to Haymitch, I turn my attention to Coin, awaiting for her to speak. 

“I’ve called you all here as there is business to discuss” Coin announces 

“Oh? Really? I thought we were having brunch” Johanna replies 

“It has come to my attention that the children of the Capitol never experienced what you all went through. I want to hold one last Games. With Capitol children. Voting system is all of you, most votes, wins” Coin explains, ignoring Johanna’s sarcastic remark

“Another Hunger Games, are you kidding?” Johanna says 

“Not in the slightest, Miss Mason. The victims of those Games deserve to have their justice served” she replies 

“Then I vote hell yes” Johanna scoffs 

“I vote yes” Enobaria says, this is crazy! 

“What? No. Don’t you see? This is exactly what Snow had done. We shouldn’t be fighting fire with fire. A real president will show the nation that differences are good. We should all have a chance at hope, hope of a better life. A second chance to start over” I cut in 

“I’m afraid many would argue” Coin says 

“I don’t know. I can be persuasive” I scowl. “I’m voting no” I add, folding my arms, this isn’t right and they all know that, I’m not that worried because Katniss will say no, she’ll do the right thing

”I’m voting no. With Peeta. And if Finnick were here, he would too” Annie says, I smile at her 

“Well he’s not. Snow killed him” Johanna scowls 

“We still shouldn’t result to violence. We just came out of a war, I don’t want another one. Finnick may not be here but our child will be. Which is why I’m voting no, for my child to have a normal childhood” she replies 

“That leaves Haymitch and Katniss” Coin says

”I’m with The Mockingjay” Haymitch tells her, we all look to Katniss

”I want to execute Snow, have a white rose in his pocket. Over his heart. I shoot the arrow” Katniss says 

“I’d love nothing more” Coin grins 

“Then I vote yes” Katniss finally tells us, she gets up and walks out of the room. I sit back in my chair, completely shocked with her answer... why’d she say yes? She’s got to change her mind. 

I soon figure out why Katniss had agreed. Acting in front of Coin, making her believe that Katniss is genuinely focused on Snow. Coin didn’t expect Katniss to shoot her in the heart, none of us were but I was more terrified when I spotted her pull out the dark purple pill and I got there before she could do anything stupid. She looked at me like I ruined her plan, like I betrayed her in a way by stopping her from killing herself. 

They don’t let me see her until a couple of hours later. I want to tell her myself that I won’t be returning to Twelve, not yet at least. I need to get this hijacking thing under control so that I don’t put myself and most importantly, others in danger. I want Katniss to know that I’m not abandoning her, I will return to her.

”They won’t let me stay long so I’ll just get to the point” I say, sitting across from Katniss

”I’m not coming back to Twelve with you and Haymitch. Not right now at least. Dr Aurelius thinks he can make it so I don’t have violent episodes, only ones that flash by time and again but they don’t know how long it’ll take” I explain but she continue to look out the window

”Don’t forget me, Katniss. Remember that I’ll return to you. Always. I love you, I’ll never leave you. I’ll see you later” I tell her, I get up and kiss her forehead before getting up and walking to the door. I remember all the times I never turned around... afraid of the pain but I’m not afraid anymore, I turn to see that she’s actually looking at me, I give her a reassuring smile before leaving the room. I don’t know how long I’ll be in the Capitol but if it means Katniss is safe... I’ll do it for as long as it takes. 


End file.
